Monday, March 30, 2009

We are Nothing alike

I went out walking with a friend and then we had lunch. As we were gabbing and eating, she said that we were on the same fitness level and about the same size. I had to keep my mouth from dropping open. (It wouldn't have been a pretty sight, since my mouth was full with salmon) All I did was shake my head yes and changed the subject.

Later that day, I reflected on our conversation. I thought about our height, I"m 5'7, she's about 5'5. I recalled the day we took a fitness class together, I kicked butt and she didn't. But, when we went out walking she was walking a faster pace than me. She's more top heavy, I'm more bottom heavy (I can fill a trunk, like no body's business). Our eating habits are amazingly alike...we eat too much of everything! And we're both a size 14.

I finally admitted that both my friend and I are at the same fitness level and the same size. We have different shapes and we're both women who want to lose weight. It's funny because I always thought of myself as thinner than her. I was obviously in a lot of denial.

Six years ago, I was a size 18 and weighed over 200 lbs. I knew I had gained a lot of weight, but I didn't think it was that bad. EVERYONE kept telling me that I looked great. Then one day I saw my reflection at a store window and I was shocked. Who was that big woman? I stood rooted at that spot and stared at my reflection. All these questions and thoughts whirled through my head, "How did I let myself go?" "Why did everyone lie to me?" "I'm definitely not skinny anymore."

The moment of truth. I asked my mother, "Mom, am I fat?" She looked at me straight in the eye and said, "Yes, honey you are." She was the first person who was honest with me. I joined Weight Watchers and went down to a size 12. Since, then I have gained, lost, gained and lost.

Now, it seems I'm stuck at a size 14. I still have some weight to lose and I don't want to be comfortable at the weight I am. My friend I and are the same. We're on the same journey. She wants to lose her stomach rolls and I want rid some of the junk in my trunk!

Food for Thought: “It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept." Bill Watterson


fatty McButter Pants said...

Oh sweet denial! I loved the quote at the end. And everyone's reality is different. Love you blog.

May said...

I know its not where you want to be, but 14 isnt bad at all! :)

However, I understand your situation. Just start exercising one hour a day. Usually this will make you want to eat healthier and then the results start pouring in... :)

Big Girl said...

I am totally right there with you. Sadly, I think I am smaller than I really am. I too was over 200 pounds and pushing a size 18. I too am a size 14 and have been there for a while now. The only difference, I want to lose my belly.

Crystal said...

I also loved your quote. I completely agree with that. I had a friend in high school who was always a lot bigger than I was. We both knew I was smaller. Once we graduated, she lost all her weight, came to tell me about it, but gained it all back and more eventually. I am so scared of doing that as well.

H.K. said...

fatty mcbutter- i love the quote on the end too- it makes you really think what reality plan are we really on!

May- You are so right, just one hour of exercise a day really does make a difference. I need to step it up more!

Big Girl- It's amazing how many of us think we're bigger or smaller than we actually are. But, there's no denying your dress size!

crystal- that is scary. use your friend's weight as a motivation. Most of my family has type 2 diabetes, that thought has kept me from being in the 200lb range.

Go Cards said...

I am at the point now where I need to get out of the size 16 that I am in and down to a happy 10! after having baby #4 he is not even 3mths ago I am so ready...
I just started reading you blog and can't wait to see your progress and in hopes have some of my own!