Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Today should have been special


My baby's due date would have been today. There would have been a room that had a crib and full of toys. I would be nesting, getting prepared, and waiting anxiously for our baby to arrive. I probably would have complained about backaches and swollen feet. And while I look in the mirror at my non existent waist- RM would assure me that he's never seen a more beautiful pregnant woman... and I would have believed him.

None of that will happen today, instead I mourn for a baby that should be here.

It has been six months since I lost my baby. And when I think time has lessened my grief, July rolls around and I find myself getting sadder as my due date approaches. I did not think that today would be so hard, but it is.

I'm trying to think of something to celebrate about today and I can't think of any- not at the moment.

Tomorrow will be a better day, but today I grieve for a baby that should be here.


11 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I'm so sorry, my friend. My thoughts are will you.

septembermom said...

I wish I could be there with you right now. I'm so sorry. Hugs.

The Crazy Coxes said...

This just breaks my heart! I am so sorry!

Tara said...

So sorry! I am over from MMB. I lost my first baby as well. The baby's due date was around Christmas time. So I celebrate the baby each year by donating something to a child in need or a charity that benefits babies, preemies, or sick children. Nothing quite fills that hole, though. Hugs.

Sue said...

I grieve for that baby, too. It would have been a very fortunate one, indeed, to have been born into such a wonderful family. The baby touched you in a special way. Perhaps you can find some comfort in that. With love.....

wendy said...

I think sometimes, we just need to set some time away to grieve.
It is sad.
so-----after you have had your time to grieve, tomorrow will indeed be a better day.

Crystal said...

WOW. I have never lost a child ( I don't have children ) but my heart grieves for you.

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Lisa said...

I am soooo sorry.

Life with Kaishon said...

I am praying for a miracle. Something to bring you joy.
Like that big party! XO