Monday, June 8, 2009

Weekend Recap

I worked out at the gym Saturday morning. I usually have a lot of energy after a work out, but I was tired before the workout and was still tired after the workout. I decided to take a nap before the baby shower. It was supposed to be a 30 minute nap that turned out to be a 3 hour nap! The dumb alarm clock didn't go off. At least it was one of the best naps I've taken in a looong time and I was well rested enough to go my husband's company dinner that evening.

I went online to survey the menu and already picked out what I was going to eat before we went to the restaurant. There were some items that I ate that were not planned. There was a seafood cold platter that was ordered for appetizers. The platter contained huge shrimp, oysters, & crab meat. I had one of each and it was DELICIOUS! There was bread that came straight from the oven, that I could not refuse. I had a few small slices and didn't regret a single bite. I had steak, steamed asparagus, and shared a dessert with my husband. My only regret is that I should have ordered the lobster tail. It was the most expensive item and I didn't feel comfortable ordering it, until I saw the waiters bring in the lobster tails to some of my husband's coworkers! My mouth was salivating over their orders even though my steak was still delicious. I ate a small portion and took the rest home.

I ate more than I planned, but I did not feel bad about it. I knew that if I refused to eat the bread, the cold platter and all the other yummy stuff that people were offering me that I would regret not trying it. The regret of not tasting these food items that I usually don't eat would have been far greater than the satisfaction of keeping within my points that evening. How often am I going to eat out like that on company's dime? I didn't stuff myself and that's what counts.

Sunday was a different matter. My sister and I talked on the phone about the graduation party on Friday. There were some uncomfortable feelings and some family dynamics that aren't so great. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I felt there were some unspoken accusations and bad feelings that still linger from certain extended family relatives. My sister felt it too. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I was so exhausted because those feelings made my chest tight, my head hurt, and made me wonder question choices I have made in the past. There was nothing planned on Sunday except for church, so I couldn't run away from those feelings that I tried to keep stuffing inside.

And I ate over them. I have always categorized binges into two categories; "Major binges" and "Minor binges". What I did yesterday was a "Minor binge." There's nothing to celebrate about that. A binge is a binge and I failed that day. Last night I had a series of nightmares about the same relatives. I woke up this morning with a start and immediately felt a wave of relief that they were only nightmares, but they were so realistic.

I know now what is a major trigger point for me, it's my extended family outside of my own siblings. They bring things up that I want to forget. They live in the past and I want to move on. I think this time before I go to a family event, I'll ask to see the guest list or just not bother to go at all.



Food for Thought: "Families are like food. Some are good and sweet. Some are flavorful and nutty. Some causes bad indigestion and are downright toxic." original quote from H.K.

9 comments:

Wendy said...

glad you had a great time at the company party. sounds like some yummy eats.

I am sorry about your family issues....and that it turned into a binging episode...but you live and learn and just move on and start a fresh day tomorrow.

i have been doing awful with ww this whole weekend....i am going on a mini vacation for 2 days tomorrow and i think that is what is doing it to me.....but i plan to come back full force when i get back!

have a good week HK!!!

Sally said...

We all have family members like that. My husband and I say that they "suck the life" out of every family function. The older we get, the more we realize that it's perfectly OK to love your family from afar...even though you don't like them very much.

Heather said...

What an appropriate quote for your weekend.
Glad you were able to enjoy yourself at the dinner... I'm hungry just reading about it!

Cammy said...

Identifying your triggers (human or otherwise) can do nothing but help you in the longer term.

Glad you enjoyed the big meal out!

My 3 Month Challenge said...

YES!! Losing weight is certainly not a sprint contest. Thanks for the GREAT reminder.

Hmm what should I celebrate? Today I'll pat myself on the back for having a healthy breakfast and packing a healthy lunch :> And I'm gonna kick butt at the gym today.

Gigi said...

Hear you loud and clear on the family drama and hope there's a way of steering clear of it for now. I have a very toxic family member too who does everything in her power to upset me and I used to let her. Then I figured that if I gave her the reaction she was looking for, she won. So as hard as it is to do, I try not to react and that really seems to work for now. But she's still pressing those buttons, poor sad girl that she is. Hang in there.

Jenn said...

Good for you for looking at the menu beforehand! Sounds like it was a delish dinner.
Part of this journey is learning what our triggers are, which is something you did this weekend. The other part is learning to take care of ourselves, and if that means avoiding the toxic people in your life, then that's what you must do!

Leisia said...

On the "food for thought"...all I will say is a big "AMEN"!!!

tisha said...

Yes! That quote is sooo true!