Sunday, March 15, 2009

Putting Me First

My husband told me that I like to play the martyr. Who? Me? I don't think so. Why did he say that I play the martyr role? Shouldn't I put my family's needs in front of mine? Isn't that what a good wife and mother does? I needed to take a long, hard look at myself. I reviewed my actions during the last week:

- Here honey, you take the car to work. I don't want you taking the train, you always come home smelling like the train station. I'll just go to the gym later.

- I'm going to be late for my spinning class. That's okay, I'll drive you to your friend's house.

- You guys don't want to eat the broiled chicken breasts? I guess I could deep fry them.

- I really do need to go to the gym, but if you really want me to stay. I will.

Wow, no wonder I was feeling so down! I was giving in to my family's needs and pretending that it didn't matter to me. Enough is enough! I felt like Sally Field in the movie "Norma Rae". I wanted to jump up on our dining table (very carefully, of course), put up the sign "Union" high up in the air (can't think of another name for the sign) and yell out at the top of my lungs!

This week, I'm not going to play the martyr! Hubbie (my husband) will have to deal with the smelly commuters. Moe (my teenager) is going to have to learn how to drive! And since I'm the cook, my family eats what I make! They don't like it, they can make their own food! And unless there is someone who needs a trip to the emergency room, I will never be late for my spinning class again!

On a serious note, I'm no good to my family if I'm miserable. When I am happy and healthy, I'm a better wife, a better mother, and a better person. No more playing the martyr!

Food for Thought: Are you a chronic people pleaser? Is it getting in the way towards a healthier you?

(You don't have to answer the question in the comments area. You can take the question and answer it in your own blog or just think it over.)


Crystal said...

I am a people pleaser but I try to remember to take care of myself as well. I have had to work on this because I am such a people pleaser.

H.K. said...

Crystal- Thanks for stopping by! It's great that you're working on taking care of yourself and realize that being a people pleaser, often puts us last on the priority list.

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