H.K. Weighs In...

Praying for Moe

2012-01-31T07:51:00.000-08:00

I've only had three hours of sleep. RM & I was in the emergency room with Moe for several hours waiting anxiously for the doctor to give us his test results.

When Moe heard about the news of his coach's death (read about it here), the headaches that he experienced for a few days became worse. He attributed the headaches to the stress about his coach.

But when Moe struggled to find his balance and became nauseous, RM rushed him to the emergency room. They immediately admitted him and did a CAT scan, they didn't find anything- we were relieved and thought that was the end of it.

But when the doctors still looked worried and wanted to do a spinal tap to check for internal bleeding- we became very scared. I think we prayed every few minutes from the time Moe was admitted until we received the news.

It was over an hour after the spinal tap was done that we finally received the results. We hoped for the best, but braced ourselves for the worst news. I wanted to sob, but since Moe kept cracking jokes, we knew that we needed to be strong for him.

Moe said to us. "Well if I died- at least I know we'll see each other again." And when he saw our shocked reaction, he started laughing- we didn't find it funny. Our family has been known to resort to humor when we're scared or going through something difficult, but when it involves our son...it's hard.

The test results showed that there was bleeding in his brain, but it seemed to have stopped and the doctors didn't think he needed to be hospitalized. However, they don't want him to do anything strenuous and put any pressure to his head.

Moe has a followup appointment with a neurologist. I think I'll breathe a little easier until we know why this happened to him.

RM had to fly out of town for work this morning, so it was very hard for us to leave him even though the doctors and Moe assured us that he would be fine. Even as I write this post, I can't help but tear up remembering the pain that he was in and then waiting for some news from the doctor wondering what would happen to our "baby boy."

I don't know what I would do without that boy- he is my entire life.

He's had such a difficult weekend. He lost his favorite coach and then this...

When we were finally told the news, Moe looked at me and said, "Mom, it can't get any worse than this...right?" "It just has to get better, don't you think?"

I told Moe that everything from now on will keep going up. I promised him that if he continued to pray for strength, read his scriptures for continued inspiration- he would be able to handle whatever came his way.

When you say your family prayers today- keep our son in your prayers. He needs them and so do I.

A Great Coach

2012-01-31T07:15:00.000-08:00

Moe called us this past Saturday morning in shock. His head football coach passed away in his sleep Friday night. He was 52 years old.

RM and I were in the store shopping when RM received Moe's phone call. As I looked at RM's face as he talked to Moe, I knew someone very close died. The conversation was short since Moe was still processing the news.

Moe forgot the missionaries were coming to visit him, so when they arrived at his place, he was still in shock. Seeing them brought on the tears as the news finally sunk in- that his coach that was loved by the entire football team including Moe, was no longer here on this earth.

I will be forever grateful for Coach Boyett, he was a positive influence in Moe's life. (Read about his life here) He was a great teacher, had a passion for football, and stressed the importance of education to his team.

As Moe puts it, "He made football fun and I knew he cared about us off and on the field." "He was funny and we laughed a lot during practice."

We chose Foothill College for Moe because of the high percentage rate of student athletes that transferred to 4 year universities and the amount of scholarships offered.

Moe chose this Foothill College because the football players were laughing while they were practicing- they looked happy.

Next season won't be the same without this wonderful coach. He will definitely be missed.

The Newest Family Member

2012-01-23T10:52:00.000-08:00

Since RM's siblings are done having any more kids, I'm so happy that I have a younger brother who is still expanding his family!

Here's my brother Fainga holding his fourth child, a baby boy. Lisi came into this world weighing a whopping 9lbs and 8 ounces and he was over a week early!

Though Tali was disappointed that she wasn't going to get a sister, she's pretty proud of her little brother and for being the only princess in their home.

Vaea who is the oldest of my brothers kids, is ecstatic being an older brother again. Since Vaea has experience being an older brother, he's been a big help. He's a wise kid for only being 8 years old.

The cutie on the right with his thumb in his mouth, is only 19 months old and extremely protective of his little brother. Whenever someone that he doesn't recognize tries to touch his baby brother, he places his body in front of the baby to prevent them from getting too close!

I haven't met my new nephew yet since they live out of state, but I plan to meet him in the next few weeks- can't wait to get my baby fix!

Goal accomplished!

2012-01-19T16:17:00.001-08:00

A storm is coming. And I had a goal to accomplish before the skies darkened and the rain comes pouring down.

I jogged 1.75 miles continuously for exactly 20 minutes and 21 seconds! Not bad since I haven't jogged this much since I was in my early 20s! (A good base time for a beginner is 12 minutes for one mile)

When I first started out on this trail, I barely lasted 10 minutes. I was always struggling to breathe and I was extremely tired- I thought it was a mental block that I had to overcome. So I would push myself a little further.

I finally had a check up with my doctor and they told me I was severely anemic- no wonder I was always tired! I felt so relieved that I wasn't a dweeb with exercising! All I needed was a few iron pills to feel better.

The iron pills have made such a big difference in my energy levels. I thought the amount of iron I was taking was sufficient, but apparently I needed more. I feel like a new person!

It feels so good to be working out and not feel like I have to take a two hour nap after wards!

What I want to remember

2012-01-04T17:30:00.000-08:00

Several weeks ago when I told a good friend of mine, that RM & Moe would be home for a few weeks for the holidays, she said to me, "Call me if they drive you crazy and we'll go out for a dinner or movie."

I never called her.

I was having too much fun spending time with "my boys".

We went out to the movies, played games, shopped, and ate...Alot. Yesterday we drove as a family to the apple orchards and bought freshly made apple cider and a delicious home baked Sour Cream Dutch apple pie.

I'm usually an early riser, sleeping in for me is staying in bed until seven am. But when RM was home- we rarely got out of bed before nine am.

Despite the chilly winter weather, RM was always wearing shorts, flip flops, and socks. One evening as we were preparing to go out to dinner, the temperature dropped to the low 20s. That didn't stop RM from wearing his shorts, flip flops, and socks.

RM hopes to one day find a job where he can wear shorts and flip flops all year round.

When I find myself feeling irritated picking up after Moe- I remember that he's here, and how much I'll miss him when he goes back to school.

RM went back to work this morning, he won't be home for another a few days. And Moe leaves for school this weekend.

I'm not going to cry when the house is empty and silent.

Instead I'll treasure those moments we had during the holidays and look forward to being together again.

Random Pictures of 2011

2011-12-31T16:23:00.000-08:00

It has been quite a year- a year of growth, change, & a couple of moves!

Here are some random pics of 2011:

This year has been a year of seeing lots of our extended family. In Spring RM and I were visited by both our brothers and their families. Moe is pictured here with his cousin Will from Southern California.

RM & Moe are pack rats. Not a good thing when you move into a smaller home and storage space is limited. RM made a decision to finally let go of his stuffed gorilla- a present I gave to him for his birthday over 20 years ago. He wasn't happy about it.

My sister Steph gave this to me at the hospital when Moe was born. This clown has been with us since that day. It was smelly & mildewy. And yet Moe was still reluctant to let it go.

Alas, Mr. Clown is no longer with us.

Moe had several trunks of toys & books- he wanted to keep all of them. I told him if he wanted to keep all of them, he would have to pay for the storage unit. It took him several days, but he managed to consolidate all his toys & books to one trunk.

He thinks his future children will appreciate it.

We went on a road trip this past summer. One of the highlights for Moe was visiting the Reality Show, "Pawn Stars" which is aired on the Discovery History Channel. We were surprised to find this line outside the Pawn shop and to discover that the show has fans as far as Italy!

This was the crowd inside the Pawn store. Moe & RM are history buffs which is one of the reasons why both of them love the show. The stars of the show would give a short history lesson on many of the objects brought to the store.

Moe was especially excited visiting the Pawn Shop. He told me, "If this is all we did on this trip and had to go home- I would consider this trip a success."

Since we were staying with my younger brother Fainga and his family in Nevada, my 5 year old niece Taliana invited herself to go with us on our mini excursions.
Despite Taliana's young age, I told my brother that I thought she might have slight memory impairment. She kept calling me, "Auntie what's her face."

Taliana inserted herself into as many pictures as she could.

There she goes again.

This old car is one of the features on the set of "Pawn Stars". RM & Moe loves old cars.

We took my brother and his family out to dinner at our last night there.
His kids loved Moe especially the boys.

My "baby" brother Fainga on the far left with 2 of his 3 kids.
His wife Kanani was taking the picture.

After we visited with my brother, we traveled to Southern California to visit RM's family. It was a family reunion of sorts. RM's nephew Josh was leaving for his mission and many of his family was there to support him.

Here's is the youngest member of RM's family-Baby Lisa.
I think she looks like a lot like RM!

During our short term stay in the Bay Area, RM's cousin Debra came to visit all the way from Fiji. It was a short visit, but I was extremely happy to finally meet the cousin that RM lovingly referred to for many years, as "my favorite cousin Debbie".

I think we logged in many hours of driving to all of Moe's football games. And even when he became injured mid season, we continued coming to the games and show him our support.

RM is already looking forward to another season, especially Moe.

Moe went to a dance competition in Roseville and was excited to meet Dominic Sandoval, a judge on MTV's reality dance competition show, "American's Best Dance Crew."

After many years, I finally found the best chocolate chip cookie recipe! The cookies are big, thick, & chewy- just the way we like them! This holiday season, I have had so much fun cooking different recipes, and baking our favorite desserts.

Overall the year 2011 was a good year, with a few bumps on the road. But I'm looking forward to having 2012 be a better year!

"Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right."

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T18:02:00.001-08:00

I suggested to RM and Moe that we should open gifts after we came back from church. They looked at me as if I said something sacrilegious- that idea was promptly shot down.

Church services wouldn't start until 11am so we all got up a few hours earlier to open our gifts.

We usually buy Moe gifts that are practical and things that he really needs, which is why he looks really surprised, when he finds that one of his gifts is a sports wrist watch- something he's wanted for a long time.

One of Moe's "practical" gifts was a toiletry bag, since we got tired of seeing him lugging a plastic bag for his toiletries. When Moe first opened his gift, he didn't know what it was and thought it was a bible case.

I guess all those years that he's seen RM's toiletry bag, he must have assumed it was a bible case.

When Moe and I went shopping for RM's gift, Moe remembered that RM wanted a rotary socket wrench in Home Depot. You could tell that RM really loves this wrench! He looks at a wrench the way I look at chocolate.

RM and Moe had a great time shopping for my gifts which were black furry house slipper/boots, soft Christmas socks, jewelry box, and a book light- I loved all of them! And they did a great job in wrapping my gifts too! (I don't know when they had time to wrap my gifts, but I have a feeling it was the evening when they kept telling me that I look tired and should go to bed.)

For our main entree, RM was cooking a pot roast. Since it would take several hours for the pot roast to cook- RM starting cooking a few hours before we opened presents.

RM scoffed at me when I told him he should just use dried herbs.

The pot roast & vegetables right before it goes into the oven.

As soon as the pot roast was baking in the oven, we went to church. The Christmas messages were beautiful and the music was uplifting. We left church feeling renewed and grateful.

This is the best pot roast I have ever tasted! It was tender, juicy, savory, and required no knife- a fork was all we needed!

As RM puts it, "the pot roast is saying, come eat me- I'm really good"

Since I knew the pot roast wouldn't be ready to eat after church, I made a classic coffee cake the night before and we had that while Moe had to "patiently" wait for the roast to cook. These are the best rolls I have ever made- they were delicious!

When we finally sat down and ate our Christmas feast, we reflected on this Christmas season- we all agreed it was one of the best Christmas seasons we've had in a very long time.

Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-25T17:08:00.001-08:00

A long standing Christmas tradition is spending Christmas Eve with my family. For many years we would go to my mother's home for Christmas Eve dinner, but in the past couple of years, Christmas Eve has been held at my sister Steph's home.

I know my mother would have loved to continue to host Christmas Eve at her home, but her health isn't what it used to be. And since we live farther away from her, my sister's home is the best midway point for everyone.

A Christmas Eve tradition- open stockings before dinner. The stocking gifts are usually from my mother and the boys always look forward to the fun and silly gifts.

Moe and my nephew Tommy are the only "youngsters" in our family.

(My sister steph, her husband Eddy, their son Tommy and my sister's stepson Nao. My mother, family friend Lisa, and brother in law David)

A Christmas Eve feast.

We usually save the gifts from us to Moe, to be opened on Christmas morning. But on this Christmas Eve we made an exception. Moe was shocked and extremely happy when he opened one of his gifts and found a brand spanking new ukulele!

A new Christmas Eve tradition- playing Christmas music.

Not pictured is RM playing the piano. My brother in law Eddy on guitar. Moe on the ukulele. And somewhere in there, my sister Steph and I provided the vocals- most of the time we were on key.

Moe and my nephew Tommy are completely different in personalities and that's what makes them such good friends.

It was a fun Christmas Eve celebration filled with food, gifts, love, & laughter. I hope that this Christmas Eve tradition continues for a very long time.

A Stress Free Christmas Season

2011-12-23T20:41:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that for many years the Christmas season used to be the most stressful time of year for me.

I felt obligated to go to every Christmas party that we were invited to. I used to bake a plate of goodies for some of our neighbors & our large extended family- it was time consuming and exhausting. We spent a lot of time & money buying a present for all of our twenty plus nieces & nephews.

This Christmas season, I experienced very little stress. The only Christmas party we went to this year, is ours. We felt very strongly that we wanted to spend the rest of our weekends doing the things that we wanted to do- which is attending Christmas concerts. We love listening to live Christmas music!

RM & Moe were the only recipients of my Christmas goodies and the friends who attended our Christmas party. We gave bottles of sparkling apple cider as gifts- much easier.

Since we spend Christmas Eve with my older sister and her family, we only exchange gifts with her family. Christmas Day is usually just the three of us- just the way we like it.

For the first time in over a decade I mailed Christmas cards! I realized I don't have to mail a Christmas card to every human being that I made contact with since high school. This year, I only mailed Christmas cards to our close friends and family.

And most importantly I remembered to make this Christmas more Christ Centered - it helped put everything into perspective.

Another Birthday for RM

2011-12-18T20:35:00.000-08:00

After you hit the 40th birthday mark- you don't keep track of your age. That's the case with RM. He thought he was two years older than his actual age until I reminded him of his real age- he seemed relieved.

It doesn't matter- he's got more energy than most men in their 20s!

We celebrated RM's birthday several weeks ago. It was RM's first birthday since Moe was born that he was not there. But he mailed RM this birthday card:

RM read the front of the card & said, "Wow, this seems like a thoughtful card." Until he opened the card....

... it took a few moments for RM to realize it wasn't one of those tear jerker Hallmark sentimental cards and then he burst our laughing.

Moe wrote this note inside the card:

Hey Dad,

This is the 1st b-day where I'm not spending it with you.
I wish I could be there to celebrate (going out to eat)
with you & Mom.

- Love you forever,
Moe

Yup, we are lucky to have a thoughtful young man as our son.

RM & I don't give gifts to each other for our birthdays, instead we make it into a weekend of pampering. I guess that's why BOTH of us look forward to our birthdays.

Here's what we did:

- Lunch at Cheesecake Factory
- Shopping at the mall
- Dessert at our favorite bakery
- Couples Massage
- Eating really good food all weekend long

And when we were home, RM watch unlimited guilt free football with not a peep from me of how bored I was. (I love football, but I don't need to watch it all day)

I've celebrated over two decades of birthdays with RM and each one has been special and memorable.

RM deserves to have a weekend of pampering and I get to reap the benefits too!

My Christmas Helpers

2011-12-16T22:29:00.000-08:00

Moe has grown out of some of our Christmas traditions one of them- baking & decorating cookies.

So I called one of my good friends Natalie who has several young children. I asked her if I could come over and bake cookies with her girls. And of course she was happy to have me come, especially since her kids have been begging her to bake, and with her busy schedule she wasn't sure if she was able to.

I was happy to be a solution to her dilemma!

I came to Natalie's home equipped with homemade sugar cookie dough, frosting, Christmas books, and lasagna.

Princess K was all smiles when I told her that she could officially call herself a "Baker" after we rolled, cut, & baked over five dozen sugar cookies.

After decorating her first sugar cookie, Miss C had a huge grin on her face and said, "Now it finally feels like Christmas!"

Duchess KC was very creative with her decorating skills. Her younger sisters retired after decorating a few cookies and Duchess KC was secretly pleased because it gave her more cookies to decorate.

A Christmas Sugar Cookie Masterpiece.

I learned an important lesson during this holiday season- opening my heart was the best antidote for the holiday blues.

Our Funky Christmas Tree

2011-12-14T12:45:00.000-08:00

RM doesn't like our Christmas tree.

He's not happy that there aren't that many lights on the tree- he blames Moe for convincing him that he did not need more. He doesn't like the shape of the tree, he thinks its too big. And he thinks the ornaments needs "more bling & lacks pizazz."

RM begged me not to post any pictures of our finished Christmas tree- he's embarrassed of our "Funky Christmas Tree".

Did I mention that I married a perfectionist?

(Moe constantly kept moving so it would be hard for me to take a picture of him- a side profile is better than nothing)

Traditionally we always pick out a tree the first Saturday of December. We were surprised when Moe told us that he was able to come home that weekend and very happy that he was there to continue the tradition.

This time RM and Moe went without me since I told them that I had a head ache. I didn't really have a headache, but I knew I would have a headache if I went with them- it happens every year.

If you saw the way RM & Moe selects a tree, you would have a headache too.

Though RM wasn't happy with the ornaments or the "lack of Christmas lights", he was happy that Moe was there to continue with our Christmas Tradition.

And he's got another reason to be very happy- he can see! RM finally made the time to go the eye doctor and get a pair of brand new glasses. He's been wearing old scratched glasses for five years! Every time I made him an appointment, he's had to cancel because of work.

His new glasses look really good & I need a new camera because my pictures are coming out blurry!

And we always have to have homemade goodies when we're decorating the tree. I usually make my Grandma's pocket filled jam pies. It taste better than it looks!

RM has taken the next few weeks off from work and Moe will be home until mid January, I'm looking forward to it. RM has a list of things he wants us to do, and the first one on his list....

.....A Christmas tree makeover- no more Funky Christmas Tree.

A New Holiday Tradition

2011-12-05T12:38:00.001-08:00

I couldn't think of a better way to usher in the Christmas season than to host our first White Elephant Gift exchange party which was held last Friday at our home.

I have had holiday parties with friends in the Bay Area and decided that it was time I made Holiday traditions with the friends that we've made in Folsom.

Though we would have loved to have invited a lot of couples, we decided to keep it small since we live in a town house and our home is half the size than the one we lived in when Moe was with us.

I sent out this email invite:

You're invited to our White Elephant Gift Exchange Party. Come and enjoy delicious appetizers and yummy desserts! So come with your hubby, significant other, or just yourself!

Here are some ideas to help you in your quest to finding a gift to bring:
* Cheap
* Free
* Ugly
* Pretty Ugly
* Very Ugly
* Ugllllaaaay
* Gag gift
* Silly
* Fun

Hope to see everyone at the party!

Everyone we invited- came! We only invited four couples and it was the perfect size. I had fun preparing the appetizers and desserts.

My mother has hosted many parties and I learned from her that you should always have more than enough food and that guests should leave with leftovers.

Here was the party's menu:

Bruschetta with Chicken & Tomato
Pigs in a Blanket
Hot Spinach & Artichoke Dip w/ tortilla chips
Assorted Cheese & Crackers
Barbecue Meatballs
Orange Chicken
Desserts: Traditional English Trifle (minus the rum) & homemade Toffee Bars.

The gifts were hilarious; a scary looking stuffed bird, wart removers, half eaten candy bar and KY Jelly (not the kind that you eat with peanut butter)

The party started at 7pm and didn't end until after midnight. Since everyone had so much fun, we decided to make our party an annual Holiday tradition.

The only downside of the party...there were no pictures!

No pictures of the beautifully decorated dining table laden with appetizers, desserts, and candles.

No picture of some of our guests holding their stomachs from laughing so hard.

No picture of RM dancing solo- it was a sight to behold.

All I have is this blog to record this fun event and that's better than nothing.

Next year there will definitely be pictures!

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-12-03T16:35:00.001-08:00

This year's Thanksgiving was a small celebration at home. Usually on Thanksgiving we go to my sisters, we decided this year to be home. The three hour drive didn't appeal to anyone so it was a quiet Thanksgiving with the three of us and Moe's friend Lance from the football team.

It may not look like it, but I actually had fun preparing the dinner especially since RM was in charge of the turkey and mashed potatoes.

RM was proud of his first Herb Brine Turkey. It was a very delicious turkey- it was full of flavors and the white meat was tender and tasted just as great as the dark meat. It took only 3 days to eat this 18 pound turkey!

We feasted on Green Beans with Apple Cider, Cornbread Stuffing, Buttermilk Biscuits and Creamy Garlic Mashed Potatoes.

I have always wanted to make a Berry Trifle and Sweet Potato Pie and decided this was the year I would make them- they turned out great! Moe's palette is limited so I made him chocolate chip cookies. I finally found a recipe that I love- the cookies came out thick and chewy.

It was a small low key Thanksgiving dinner- just what we needed this year.

I'm grateful for an untidy house

2011-11-24T12:40:00.001-08:00

Since Moe doesn't live at home, the house is always clean.

I wake up every morning to a spotless kitchen.

Our glass top coffee table is clear of clutter and cup ring marks.

I'm not tripping over Moe's size 16 shoes that are often left in the middle of the living room.

And milk and eggs never run out before its expiration date.

Moe came home yesterday from school and brought a friend from his football team. Immediately our refrigerator and cupboards were raided.

I woke up this morning to a kitchen that had dishes in the sink. The kitchen trash was full and showed evidence of late night snacking. I tripped over Moe's shoes that were left by the kitchen. And there were cup ring marks on our coffee table.

As I tidied up the kitchen and living room, I became aware of how great it feels to have Moe home- and how grateful I am for my untidy house.

Breaking Dawn: A Midnight Experience

2011-11-21T15:56:00.000-08:00

I couldn't let another week pass without mentioning my annual outing to watch the midnight premiere of "Breaking Dawn Part I". I was one of those crazy Twilight fans who stood in line for several hours to watch one of the most anticipated sequels. But when you're having fun, you don't notice how many hours you're waiting.

In previous years, we usually meet for dinner at a restaurant near the theater. This year we met at a more "reasonable" time (8:30pm) at my friend Aimee's house for appetizers and dessert. I loved meeting at this time because it gave me time to take a nap before the long evening!

Every year the group consists of about 12 to 15 women. There are only about 4 to 5 of us that have consistently gone for the past 3 years, and the rest of the group changes from year to year. Though there are always new faces every year, I know that we at least have one thing in common- we love all things "Twilight"!

However, my midnight trek to the movies always comes with physical repercussions;

migraine headaches

upset stomach

lack of common sense and temporary stupidity - When I came back home from the movies (it's after 3am) and parked the car- I couldn't remember where the door handle was located! I had to reach for the door handle on the outside! This is what happens when you eat a lot of popcorn, chocolate, licorice, and diet coke after midnight.

The next day RM taped a diagram of the car onto the dashboard with the location of the door handles highlighted in red.

He's lucky I have a sense of humor.

(Group picture coming soon!)

An end of another season

2011-11-16T19:28:00.000-08:00

"It does not matter how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up." -Vince Lombardi

(Moe is number 74)

We have moved several times in the past six years and Moe has played football with five different schools; three high schools and one junior college. Moe has been a Trojan, a Scot, a Bulldog, and currently the Foothill Owls.

And in those years, he's had a torn MCL and ACL, dislocated both knees, broken tibia, and was in a leg cast for several months. When Moe broke his tibia during his junior year in high school, doctors told him he would never be able to play football- he proved them wrong.

This football season he dislocated his knee during practice and was only able to play a few games this season. Most athletes would probably quit at this point- it made Moe more determined to come out stronger.

Last Saturday was the last football game of the season. Moe watched from the sidelines with an injured knee- his team lost. It's been a roller coaster ride of emotions especially for Moe.

But quitting has never been an option for him. RM and I told him that it would be alright if he quit- he gave us this "Are you crazy?" look and proceeded to lecture US on the importance of overcoming trials and rising above it. He was definitely preaching to the choir!

Is his injuries a high price to fulfill his dream to play football? Moe doesn't think so.

Time for an update

2011-11-04T15:07:00.001-07:00

I've been a bad blogger. I have thought about blogging for the past few months and just never had the energy or the time to update or to read blogs. I found myself losing interest and then feeling guilty about it.

RM thinks I was having "blogger block"- he may be right. RM has mentioned to me several times how he misses reading my blogs. He's taken many pictures, hoping that one day I would post and write about them in the blog.

That day has come...it's time for me update my blog! But since I don't have access to the pictures he took, this post will have to go without pictures until the next post.

Since it's been five months since I last blogged (almost half the year!), here is a quick update on what happening to our family:

- We have moved twice in the past 4 months! First we moved to the Bay area from Folsom and then moved back...more on that later.

- We knew we would live in a smaller space in the bay area and decided to get rid of a lot of our furnishings and a lot of junk that we kept. It is amazing how much junk we kept! I still kept my old high school transcript and a really bad picture of me with an 80s hair do. The transcript went straight to the garbage- the picture stayed.

- Moe turned 19 years old this year and attends a junior college in the Bay Area and plays football- the team ranked 15th in the nation. He's taking 20 credits and is incredibly busy with school and football and doesn't have much time for a social life. After only a few weeks into practice, Moe dislocated his knee- he missed half the football season. He maintains a great attitude and knows that next season will determine whether football will be in his future. I know he'll be fine with whatever happens. He loves going to the Young Single Adult wards where the ages of those attending church ranges from 18 yrs of age to 25 years. Once football season ends, he's looking forward to getting to know more of the church members and having more time to attend church social events.

- RM has had two promotions in the past several months and with each job promotion comes more responsibility- he relishes the challenges. Of course, that also comes with more traveling which I'm getting used to.

- RM and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary a month ago! RM told me the other day that I'm like fine wine- its gets better with age. Now that is an interesting analogy from someone who doesn't drink alcohol. I wanted to share with you what he wrote on Facebook:

Twenty years today, my life changed. I met my best friend, wife, my eternal partner and mother of our "Little Bear" Knowing all my flaws & faults, you chose to walk the path of life with me. I am the person today because of you. Happy 20th Anniversary.

I read that and I had tears rolling down my face as I reflected....how very lucky he is to be married to me- I think I'm a great catch! On a serious note, I'm the world's luckiest gal to have RM as my eternal best friend and partner.

- And the latest update with me, I'm working so it feels great to be earning a paycheck every week and I take some computer courses online. I'm also adjusting to being an official empty Nester.

Last year I called myself an "empty Nester with a child at home". I think parents who have kids in their late teens living with them at home, knows what I mean with that term. It feels so strange that for over 18 years, I always had someone to take care of and now....I'm learning how to cook for one and eating frozen Lean Cuisine Dinners- they're actually quite good!

I'm glad to back into the blogsphere and this time I won't let five months go before I blog again- until next time.

Another Blogging Break

2011-06-16T17:16:00.000-07:00

I know I've only been back to blogging for several weeks, but since we're in the middle of a move, blogging will be taking a back seat for at least 2 to 3 weeks. We'll still be living in California, but moving closer to RM's job which is 3 hours away from where we currently live now.

We've been living the life of nomads for the past six years, and though it's been exciting to make new friends wherever we have moved, I'm getting to the point of my life where I want put some roots down in ONE area. The longest we've lived in one house was for four years.

And our nomadic lifestyle will continue for at least another few years. As my husband says, "We go where the buffalo roam."

My Grandma Elda was another person who moved a lot, she often said, "You bloom where you're planted." It's a great quote for me to remember.

However. the day that we move to a home, where we'll be able to put some roots down, and finally put our nomadic years behind us- I'm going to nail our family picture to the wall...

...and then I'm going to cry.

(Comments off, see you in a few weeks!)

I Heart Weddings

2011-06-07T14:57:00.001-07:00

(One of the engagement pictures)

I love weddings, especially when it involves one of your family members. RM's nephew Edward, finally tied the knot to his long time girlfriend Alexis.

After many years of going to high school and college graduations of our nieces and nephews, it was very different to attend one of our nephews wedding. Edward's the first among our nieces and nephews to get married and definitely not the last.

I love how weddings makes you reflect on the day you were married. You can't help but look at the happy couple and reflect on your own marriage- most of them all good.

I love that weddings are also a time to catch up with other family members that you haven't seen in a long time.

I watched how Moe interacted with his cousins and was constantly amazed how grown up they are. The nieces and nephews pictures above are all attending college- it feels like it was just yesterday that RM and I were babysitting them!

And though we don't get to see our nieces and nephews very often, the great memories and love that we have for them, always remain strong.

(The couple in between RM and I is RM's older brother Greig and his wife Racheal)

I love that weddings often unite family members and brings out the best in everyone.

Weddings can also bring out the silliness in others. Can you tell how much RM LOOOOOVES cupcakes?

I also love Photo shop. Though you're always happy to see most of the family, there's always that obnoxious family member that you wish didn't attend. (You know you have one in your family too!)

So with the magic of Photo shop, you can completely crop them out of the picture (like the picture above) and pretend that they were never there.

Yes, weddings are magical. It softens the hearts and brings out the smiles in every one....including that obnoxious family member.

Rain, Rain, Go Away...Come back next winter!

2011-06-04T14:58:00.000-07:00

(picture taken from our porch)

Around this time last year, our heavy blankets, jackets, and sweaters, were packed away. The air conditioner was on and I was wearing a short sleeved t-shirt and shorts.

This year, the only thing packed away still are the tank tops and shorts! We've had a few days of sunshine, and most days, its either cold, or rainy, or both.

(At least my plants look healthy!)

Last summer our city of Folsom was experiencing a drought. The past several months we've had so much rain, that the Folsom Dam has been continually draining water from its dam for three months.

I guess the upside from all this, is that we're definitely no longer in a drought, and I don't have to turn on the sprinklers.

I hope summer comes here soon- I'm so ready!

What I learned from Oprah

2011-05-27T16:08:00.000-07:00

I was in high school when I first watched the Oprah show. So you might say, I grew up watching Oprah. It became a part of my afternoon routine. I wasn't always crazy about the topics she presented on her show or agreed with some of her politics. However, I've learned some important life lessons from watching the Oprah show.

Here are just a few of those lessons;

- I am finally wearing the right bra! I used to hate wearing bras because they were so uncomfortable. After watching her show about bras, I realized I was wearing the wrong bra size. (when you gain weight, the weight also goes to other places than just your butt and hips- who knew!)

- I wear jeans that fit my body type. One of Oprah's shows was dedicated to wearing the right type of jeans. No more "mom jeans" for me! No wonder my butt looked unflattering.

Here's what "mom jeans" look like:

(Thankfully my "mom jean" phase was a very very very short phase.
If you still own a pair of mom jeans- get rid of them!)

And I had a really big Aha! moment while watching Oprah that made me look at RM in a different light. Oprah had a show about best friends and some lucky viewers along with their best friends were treated to a spa. I was thinking about which one of my good friends that I would want to take and then RM came to mind.

He's one of the few men that I know who likes getting a mani/pedi and enjoys shopping. And I LOVE hanging out with him!

And the latest and one of the most important lessons that I learned from Oprah:
"Turning 40 years old is when you really start to have fun."

I'm starting to believe that.

(pictured with my great niece Elizabeth. I'm a great-aunt!)

I was invited to a friend's house to watch Oprah's last show. It's the type of occasion where I'm glad that I was with a friend. We each had our own box of Kleenex- we never used them. Instead we reflected on the last 25 years and Oprah's impact on our lives.

Her last message to her viewers- "Find your calling in life and be the best person you can be."

After more than twenty years of watching Oprah, weekday afternoons won't be the same.

A Memorable Mother's Day

2011-05-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

The day before Mother's Day we celebrated Moe's birthday. Moe's favorite uncles helped us celebrate his birthday and it was an extremely busy and exhausting week. I didn't want RM to go into any trouble fixing me a big dinner so I told him that I would be happy with just pizza or sandwiches.

As long as I didn't have to prepare or think about dinner preparations- I didn't care what we ate.

When Mother's Day morning came, I have to admit that I was kind of hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers. So when I went downstairs in the morning and saw no flowers, I swallowed my disappointment, and reminded myself that it was no big deal- especially since I told RM and Moe not to make Mother's Day a "big deal".

This time, I'm happy they didn't listen.

We went to church and I did not know that RM and Moe slipped out of church during the second hour of church, and started cooking dinner, and cleaning up the house.

When I came home, I was greeted with this beautiful bouquet and wonderful cards;

RM gave Moe a grocery list and Moe did the grocery shopping at midnight while I was asleep! Moe picked out the flowers, the cards, and chose a card for RM that felt like it really was from RM. They hid the flowers, the cards, and the groceries in our 2nd refrigerator in the garage.

They truly surprised me.

In the card that Moe gave me, he wrote this personal inscription;
"To the world's craziest, funniest, most random, always trying to make me laugh, BEST MOM in the world! I love you with all my heart. Your son, Moe"
(And then he drew a smiling face by his name)

RM made me an amazing dinner. He's a good cook! He knew that I was going to describe the dinner he made for me. so he wanted me to use this description in his own words:

"There were two entree dishes; sauteed shrimp in garlic butter with a hint of lemon zest. Grilled salmon with a light pineapple brown sugar glaze. The pasta dish was Tortellini tossed with a rich pesto sauce and a tasty buttery garlic bread."

Can you tell that RM watches a lot of shows on the Food Network?

(My Mother's Day Gourmet Dinner)

The other day, I was having lunch with my older sister Steph. She has only one son like me. I asked her about her feelings of having one child.

She said, "You know I'll always have that regret that I couldn't have more children." And then she pauses, and looks out to the window where we're seated next to.

She then turns her attention back to me, looks me straight in the eye, and with a smile says, "But out there is a child that calls me Mom. And for that- I am grateful."

I have finally accepted that our family will stay as a family of three- there will be no additions. I've come to peace with that.

And like my sister, I too am grateful that I have a child that calls me- MOM.

I'm Baaaack!

2011-05-17T18:18:00.001-07:00

It's been a 3 month blog hiatus. I think it's the longest that I've been AWOL in the blogging world. We've had a lot going on in our lives and not a lot of time to blog. It also doesn't help that my laptop hasn't been working in a very long time so I've had to use my son's laptop. And when he's not using it, I only have time to check my emails.

Here is a shortened version of what's been going on in our lives since I last blogged:

Had some health issues in March- feeling a lot better now.

We're getting ready to move again- our 5th move in 6 years. At least we'll be moving closer to where RM works which is 3 hours away from our present home. We move at the end of June. And there is a possibility that we'll be moving again out of state early part of next year. I've learned to just take it...one move at a time. Every move is an adventure!

We celebrated Easter, just the three of us. I was debating whether to get Moe an Easter Basket since he's practically an adult now, and then finally decided everyone likes to get candy, regardless of age. It was the right decision- he loved his Easter Basket!

And we celebrated Moe's 19th birthday! Moe's favorite thing to eat is Chinese food. When he was younger he used to tell that he wished he lived in China so he could eat rice and chow mein every day.

It's hard for RM to accept that Moe is almost 3 inches taller than him. So RM has always joked to Moe and said, "It doesn't matter how much taller you are than me, I'm still the boss."

My brother and his family lives out of state and stayed with us for a week in April. They wanted to celebrate their youngest son's first birthday with us.

Here's the birthday boy- my nephew. He always gets excited when he sees a ball. So I went to the store and bought him several balls- I think I became his favorite person that day.

(My funny nephew loves climbing up the stairs, but doesn't know how to get down, which is why he's screaming. My niece thought it was funny and decided to scream with him.)

RM and I baby sat my brother's kids for a day so that him and his wife could go out by themselves. My brother has three kids. Their ages are 7, 5, and 1 years old. Though we had a blast being with them, at the end of the day we were exhausted!

Last week we had RM's brother and his family visit us from Southern California. We had so much fun with them! We spent most of the time just hanging out at our home and of course we did a lot of eating too!

Since Moe is an only child, he always gets excited when we have family come to visit. It doesn't matter what his cousins ages are, Moe's always able to have fun with them. He's always told us that he wants to marry a girl who has lots of siblings especially brothers.

** That's about it in a nutshell. It's been a crazy, fun, and busy time for us. Hopefully once my laptop is fixed, I'll be able to blog more often. And I forgot to mention that I had a great Mother's Day which deserves it's own entry- stay tuned for that one.

(P.S. I want to put my entries into a blog book, anyone have any recommendations- I've got 3 years worth of entries to put together!)

Our Valentine's Day Weekend

2011-02-17T10:22:00.001-08:00

Our Valentine's Day weekend started on Friday with a Country Hoe down! I love to dance, but I don't like to dance with people I go to church or work with.

Can you imagine going to church and hearing someone pointing at you and whispering to someone else, "Wow, did you look at the way H.K. was dancing? I thought it was totally inappropriate for her to dance on the table."

If I'm going to go out dancing, I like to go out dancing in a place where I know absolutely no one. Except of course the friends that are dancing with you. They can be just as crazy as me!

I promised RM that I was going to stick to eating and mingling, and absolutely no dancing- until we were pulled to the dance floor for the country line dancing. It wasn't so bad because everyone that was at the dinner, was out there on the dance floor! We all looked like a bunch of dancing fools together- it was great!

There would be no finger pointing at church on Sunday.

RM somehow slipped out of the dance floor, and sat with some other husbands, who felt it was more fun to talk sports in the hallway.

However, when it came to the slow dancing, I grabbed RM. Slow dancing becomes a sort of power struggle for us- both of us want to lead. So we compromise and take turns leading.

On Sunday after church, RM conferred upon Moe the Melchizedek priesthood. (Click here and here to understand what that means) He was joined by Moe's Young Men leader Brad Burnett, our Home Teachers Marcus Burton and Aaron Turner, the Bishopric (Larson, Grundy, Porter) High Priest Leader Jim Gallovan, and family friend Adam Jones.

RM gave Moe a beautiful blessing,and tears were flowing freely in the room, mainly by me..

We have had a very cold and wet winter, so when Sunday rolled around, it was a beautiful sunny day. A perfect day for a picture.

On Valentine's Day RM was home! He worked out of our home and made his mom's famous English bread pudding for breakfast. It was delicious, and I think it tasted better than his mom's.

Later, RM's long time friend was in town and wanted to take us out for lunch- SUSHI! I love good sushi and if it wasn't so expensive, I wish I could eat it every week. We went to an "all you can eat Sushi buffet" and ate to our heart's content. I believe I ate more than two dozen sushi, and struggled finishing what was left on my plate.

After over an hour of gorging ourselves with sushi, we went home.

RM went upstairs to work, I sat down on the couch in our living room, unbuttoned the top button of my jeans, turned on the TV, and finished eating a bunch of Valentine's Day chocolates (no matter how full I am, there's always room for chocolate), while watching a chick flick.

I heard that chocolates contain a lot of magnesium and I think my body was sorely lacking magnesium.

Can you believe that I still managed to lose four lbs this week? I think it was the magnesium in the chocolates that did it.

Here's my favorite quote for the week:

"Today is the most important day of my life"

Make each day count because you never know what tomorrow brings. Live in the moment!

I'm Happy Despite...

2011-02-08T09:44:00.000-08:00

Last week I was feeling happy- I still feel happy. It is not the kind of happy where you want to shout out to the world or that type of happiness where you feel like you're going to burst with joy.

The happiness I feel is more a feeling of peacefulness. I used to pray for the things that I wanted;

- more wealth
- more children
- skinnier body
- a job closer to home for RM
- success in everything I try
- to not be alone
- a healthy family

I've prayed for those things for a very long time and it hasn't happened, it may never happen. But I'm okay with it. I pray for the willingness to understand the Lord's will and to accept whatever comes my way.

Recently a few things has happened to my mother and serious health issues have plagued a favorite uncle of mine. I still don't understand why bad things happen to good people. They don't deserve it- no one does.

Sometimes the only thing we can do is pray and try to make each day a better day.

This quote perfectly describes how I feel:

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

I may not always get what I pray for, but somehow I always get what I need.

Thursday Musings

2011-02-03T11:14:00.000-08:00

(This is one of several mini bridges that I cross on the hiking trail that I use. We live very close to a river and a lake)

It's been a very long time since I have blogged on a regular basis. Just when I felt I was getting into a blogging rhythm, my plug in charger for my laptop stopped working, so I couldn't use my laptop. The only time I had access to a computer was when Moe was home from school, so I could use his laptop or go to the library. As soon a I get a new charger, I should be able to blog more regularly.

Here's what I've been doing when I wasn't blogging:

- I have been consistently exercising for over a month! I average 5 times a week and sometimes I work out twice in one day. My only problem is that the more I exercise, the more I eat! It's a challenge to watch what I eat, so I email what I eat to another friend. I've been emailing my daily food intake for about a week and I have noticed a difference in what I put in my mouth. It keeps me accountable, honest, and I think twice about putting that third chocolate chip cookie in my mouth!

- I have been feeling great about my relationship with Moe. When he's home we talk about politics, current events, religion, and I find myself talking to him like I would to another adult. We try to go out to lunch once a week, just the two of us. I often catch myself looking at him and wondering how did he grow up so fast.

- When I was jogging with a friend, we saw a bobcat. She thought it was just a huge cat and wanted to go near it. When I noticed that it was sitting down and the height of it came to about our waist (I'm 5'7, she's 5'8), we knew it it was no ordinary cat.

We backed away very slowly and as I looked at the bobcat I said, "Please don't eat me, my friend here is white, so her meat is a lot more healthier than dark meat- less fat and more nutritious."

Unfortunately my friend didn't appreciate my comment and tried to use me as a shield.

- Can you believe I have yet to write about Moe's Eagle Scout Court of Honor? It really was a great event and memorable. Stay tuned, it's something I have to write about, especially since I'm turning my blog into a blog book!

- I've been extremely busy taking classes through the community. Another reason why it's getting harder to blog on a regular basis.

- We're in the process of making some major decisions in our lives in the next few months, sort of stressful, but whatever the outcome- it will be okay.

- I'm sitting here at a cafe taking advantage of their free WI-FI, eating a bran muffin, drinking a hot herbal tea, and the sun is shining brightly, despite the thirty degree weather. And I'm doing one of my most favorite things in the world- WRITING!

Life is Good.

The year 2011 is already looking like it just might be a very good year.

Taming the Teenager...sort of

2011-01-20T15:02:00.000-08:00

(Moe unsuccessfully tries to push me down in the snow. In a house with just boys, I've learned to roughhouse and often win!)

I used to jokingly say that Moe was my son the first fourteen years of his life until he entered high school, and then became RM's son.

Moe entered a stage where he needed his dad more than me. Our special weekly luncheons that started when he was five years old, with just the two of us, became more infrequent. Our luncheons started to include RM, and then one day, it became a weekly luncheon that only included RM and Moe.

Truthfully, I did not know how to handle a teenager who was stubborn, opinionated, moody, and had a head that was harder than concrete....he became me! When you're with someone whose personality resembles yourself, you can either get along or butt heads.

Unfortunately Moe and I were the latter. Rather than trying to understand him, I turned him over to RM. Moe and I maintained a good relationship, but it was not a close relationship- there's a difference.

RM started a new job last year which required him to be gone from home during the week. He worried how Moe and I would get along without him being there to act as referee.

RM gave me these words of advice: "Here's the key to getting along with Moe- just listen. Sometimes its not important to always be right- even when you are."

It is because of that advice that Moe and I not only have a good relationship, it is back to being a close relationship.

I've learned to listen and I believe Moe has too.

New Year - New Beginning!

2011-01-14T00:29:00.001-08:00

I'm already liking the new year! I feel like I'm going through a total makeover- spiritually, emotionally, and physically. We're only less than a month into the new year and already I've made some changes....

I'm still looking for a job- I need to feel useful and its always great to have extra cash! In the meantime, I've been taking some classes and have met some really interesting people. And I just joined a job networking group that meets once a week. It was great to meet other housewives who are going back into the work force after raising their kids.

I'm also making an effort to let Moe be himself. This is the year that I have to trust that the decisions he makes in his life are what's best for him. We've taught, guided, and encouraged Moe to make decisions that will help him be a better person. And whatever decisions he makes, we'll support him.

I have let go of relationships, made some new ones, and renewed old ones.

I've lost eight pounds and I'm training to participate in a half marathon in May! I have a friend who is a veteran marathoner and wants to help me train for it. We've already started running...at a slow pace. I haven't worked out in a long time and I'm starting at ground zero! She's optimistic that I'll be ready in May, but I've decided that if I still don't feel ready- there's another half marathon in October that I'll run in. That will be one item that I can look forward to crossing off from my "Bucket List"!

I have heard that you can tell what the size of your God is by looking at your worry list. The longer your list, the smaller your God; I'm learning to make my list shorter and let God take over. Trials and obstacles will always come our way and often we don't have control over them. That's when I turn them over to the Lord and ask for His help- it's the only way for me to get through the day.

I wasted most of last year feeling sorry for myself and letting grief take a hold of me. This year will be different. Instead of praying for things that I want and need, I pray for peace and acceptance.

It's going to be a great year!

A blessing to be thankful for

2010-12-22T09:59:00.000-08:00

Moe finally passed the driving test and received his driver’s license yesterday! I think he was the only teenager in our town over the age of sixteen years old, who did not have a driver’s license.

When he posted this milestone event on his Facebook, there were over twenty people who responded- I think his friends are relieved that they don’t have to drive him around anymore.

Though I am very thrilled that Moe has his driver's license, it also came with a feeling of sadness; All of our great conversations came from being in the car.

It was easier for Moe to tell me about his frustrations, his dreams, his questions about the purpose of life, and often cringe worthy subjects like…sex. All subjects were discussed with judgments set aside.

And as Moe has often said to us, "I can talk easily in the car because I don't have to look at your reaction- you have to pay attention to the road and not look at me. "

Our car became a safe place for Moe to talk.

Our relationship has evolved and I’m glad that we can discuss almost anything outside the car.

As I was looking at some of Moe's childhood pictures, I still find it hard to believe that the little baby that fit right in my arms has become the young man he is today.

During this Christmas season, I have made many reflections. It dawned on me a few weeks ago that I have spent this entire year being depressed. I have had many moments of happiness, but spent far too much time in which I focused on my losses, rather than my blessings.

This Christmas season I am focusing on all my blessings and I have many to be grateful for; I want to share with you one of my greatest blessing....my son Moe.

Let me take you back to memory lane and share with you some of my fondest memories of Moe's childhood...

Moe was barely one week old in this picture. Who would have thought that this little seven pound baby would grow up to be 6'4?

This was Moe's first Christmas. with us. He was seven months old. My brother in laws nicknamed him "Don King," since his hair would often stick up, resembling Don King's hair....I personally think Moe is cuter.

Moe recognized his dad's voice from day one. Whenever RM would speak, Moe's head would turn towards his voice. They still have a close relationship.

The first time Moe had a piece of cake was on his first birthday.

Every time he would finish eating, he would raise his hands in the air to let us know that he was done eating and say, "All Done."

This picture was taken the day after Moe turned one years old- his first hair cut. I loved his long hair, but he was such a sweaty kid and he was constantly trying to get hair out of his face, so I relented and took him to get his hair cut. I remember being a little sad because he resembled a little boy than a baby.

Moe was about three years old in this picture, he's wearing a Lion King's Tee shirt which was one of his favorite cartoons. He always seemed to laugh at everything and his laughter was infectious...it still is.

This is Moe's preschool graduation. He was already a class clown and loved making everyone laugh. His preschool teacher required parents to volunteer and shadow some of the kids and write down their observations-I still have them.

When Moe was six years old, he loved playing practical jokes on everyone. My mom indulged him and bought him whoopee cushions (the kind that makes a fart sound when you sit on it), hand buzzers, fake poop, and these Groucho glasses.

I remember that RM did not want to have his picture taken wearing the Groucho glasses, but gave in when Moe kept pleading for him to put it on, and pose for the picture. It's funny how RM is trying to look dignified and somehow he's able to pull it off!

Moe is about ten or eleven years old in this picture. RM and I were glad that he was in scouts, because he was able to go on a lot of camping trips- something that RM and I don't like doing.

Our idea of camping is the Marriott Courtyard.

Eighth grade graduation - the beginning of teenage angst.

I am only a mother of one, but my son has brought so much joy to my life. And that is a blessing that I am very thankful for.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and take the time to be grateful for what you have!

Our very first Christmas

2010-12-16T10:51:00.000-08:00

One of my most memorable Christmas season, was the first Christmas I spent with RM. I was several months pregnant with Moe, and like many newly young married couples, we did not have a lot of money.

Since we were going to spend Christmas at my mother's, we decided not to get a Christmas tree. We lived on a strict budget and there was not enough money in our budget to buy a tree.

It wasn't an easy decision to make, but we knew it was better to have food in the kitchen cupboards, than a Christmas tree in our living room.

When we would arrive home from work, there was always a trail of pine needles along the floor of the hallway in our apartment building.

Each day I would comment to RM, "I bet if we follow the trail of pine needles, we can find out which apartment just got a Christmas tree."

It became a game for us.

We would follow the trail of pine needles and when the pine needles disappeared under an apartment door, we would end the game by saying, "Lucky Apartment 16 has a Christmas tree today!"

It was a very sad and pathetic game.

Then one day while I was at work, RM called to tell me that he wouldn't be able to pick me up, since he would be working late.

I took the bus home and when I arrived at our apartment, I noticed a long trail of pine needles in the hallway that led to our apartment. .

I thought to myself, 'Another lucky person has a Christmas tree today.'

It was disheartening to see someone else receive a tee and not us. But I continued to follow the trail of pine needles and was curious to see who in our hallway received a tree.

We lived at the end of a very long hallway and I noticed that the trail of pine needles continued near our door.

For a moment, I thought that maybe it was us who has a tree. It was wishful thinking on my part, and I couldn't possibly see how we could get a tree, especially since I knew how much Christmas trees would cost.

And yet the closer I walked to our apartment, the trail of pine needles continued.

My heart started to beat really fast, "Could this trail possibly lead to our apartment?" I asked myself as I walked faster.

Then trail ended...right under our apartment door! I quickly unlocked our door and right there in the middle of our living room, was a gorgeous Christmas tree, and right behind the Christmas tree was RM.

He jumped from behind the tree and yelled out, "Surprise!"

I was so shocked- I felt like I was going to give birth right there.

RM was laughing when he saw my reaction, and after I recovered from my shock, I went up to him, gave him a hug, and started crying. (I blame it on the pregnancy hormones)

When I asked RM how he was able to get the tree, he said that he was friends with the guy that was selling trees, and he gave RM a 50% discount. It was a 7ft tree that cost us only $13!

We decided to forget about our food budget and use the money to buy decorations. We went to a drug store and spent exactly seventy three dollars on Christmas decorations.

We even splurged for take out dinner at Mcdonald's!

We had so much fun trimming the tree and decorating our Christmas stockings with glitter and glue. And when we were finished, we stood back admiring our very first Christmas tree.

There was always a new trail of pine needles in our hallway every day, but we hardly noticed them, and didn't care which apartment had a Christmas tree.

We lived on peanut butter jelly sandwiches for over a week and surprisingly never tired eating it.

We've had many Christmas trees since then, but we'll always remember our first Christmas tree.

(Unfortunately we never took pictures of our first tree, so the pictures above is of our Christmas tree this year)

RM: Man of many talents

2010-12-13T17:04:00.001-08:00

It's RM's birthday this month! And to help celebrate his birthday, I wanted to write some great things about him. But what should I write about him that doesn't sound "over the top corny"?

Should I tell you that he makes me laugh all the time? We're talking about the laugh out loud, holding the belly type of laugh - he's that funny.

Should I tell you when Moe was little, his friends would come to our house and ask if RM could play too? RM has an ability to talk and connect to kids of all ages- he's a kid at heart.

Did I mention that RM is also musically talented?

We celebrated this past Thanksgiving at a friend's house with their family. My mother, my sister, and her family were there too. And while the women were eating desserts in the kitchen, the guys were in the living room making music... without any sheet music! They played by ear- ranging from reggae, jazz, Beatles songs, to current top 40.

One of the gals asked me, "Wow, RM is really good! How long has he played the cello bass?"

I looked dumbfounded and said, "I didn't know he played."

You think you know someone after being married to them for 19 years.

RM plays the ukulele.

RM plays the piano.

RM plays the bass guitar, drums and he sings too!

Moe has inherited RM's musical talents and plays the guitar and ukulele. It was the first time that Moe got to accompany RM musically and I'm sure it won't be the last time.

Alright, maybe this birthday tribute to RM is "over the top corny". But I know that RM is loving every word of this!

Picking the "perfect" Christmas Tree

2010-12-09T20:51:00.000-08:00

We've had our Christmas tree up for almost a week. And in our home, it takes a long time to find that perfect tree. If it was up to me, I would go to ONE Christmas tree lot and find a tree in less than ten minutes.

But when one goes Christmas tree shopping with RM and Moe- it is a very long, drawn out, arduous process.

And there are a series of tests that the tree must pass, before it is considered the "perfect Christmas tree."

The tree has to pass the "drop & shake" test. Moe shakes the tree and then pushes it to the ground and if it retains most of it's pine needles, then it's a good tree. This tree unfortunately did not pass the test.

If it passes the "shake & drop" test, then it goes through the "twist & turn" test- you twist and turn the tree to check for any imperfections.

The final test is the "durability" test. The tree is thrown to and fro between RM and Moe.

After going to several Christmas tree lots and putting many unfortunate trees through the battery of tests- the "perfect" Christmas tree could not be found.

Just when you think that the "perfect" Christmas tree isn't out there-it often can be found right in front of you.

It was love at first sight.
And this tree was spared from all the ridiculous tests.

It was a long day, but the tree needed to be trimmed. I cooked dinner and baked jelly rolls while RM and Moe took out all the decorations.

RM put on the lights and since Moe wanted the tree to have a certain look- he decorated the tree.

We've had Christmas traditions come and go in our family, but I'm glad that picking the "perfect" Christmas tree together as a family is still intact.

Our Very Unique Christmas Tree

2010-12-05T10:59:00.001-08:00

We decided instead of decorating the Christmas tree- we would try something different.

We wanted to do something edgy, unique, very retro and modern.

A Christmas tree that Andy Warhol would be proud of.

Are you ready?

Drum rolls please....

Introducing our very own....

...HUMAN CHRISTMAS TREE!!!

The downside of having a Human Christmas Tree is that they need constant food and water, which can be more expensive than the traditional Christmas tree.

And if your Human Christmas Tree is the main income earner of the household...it just won't work. It's too bad being a Christmas tree won't bring home the paychecks.

Sadly our Human Christmas Tree lasted for only a few minutes. He was getting tired and hungry and a little cranky.

So if you want a Christmas tree that lasts...stick to the traditional Evergreen tree.

**I have been in a blog funk. So I've made my New Year's Resolution a few weeks early and will blog more regularly this month. There's lots more stuff I want to write about. I plan to blog about it a few times a week, at least until the end of this year. And I got a lot of catching up to do on reading your blogs too!**

Life begins at 40...

2010-11-10T13:38:00.000-08:00

- but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times." quote by Helen Rowland

RM took that picture the day I turned 40 years old. It's hard to believe that RM and I have been together since I was 20 years old and here were are- still together 20 years later.

When I met RM, I thought I was a very wise person. I believed that I had my act together- boy, was I wrong! I thought at 20 years old there was nothing left to learn about life, because I knew it all. Thank goodness I was wrong!

At forty years old, I've learned many great life's lessons. Here are just a few of them:

My sister wanted to celebrate my milestone birthday with me and came a week early before my actual birthday. She asked me how many people I wanted to invite for my birthday dinner. I knew I just wanted a girls night out and it would have been easy to invite a lot of women. But I realized I just wanted a low keyed dinner with a few close friends.

Lesson #1: "It's more important to have quality friendships than the quantity". I have many good acquaintances and only a handful that I call my close friends. I'm lucky that I consider my sister a great friend! (She's the one with the dark hair seated in the back on the left side)

Lesson #2: "Age is just a number and stop worrying about getting older - it's a complete waste of time!" Of course having a milestone birthday isn't complete without the usual gag gifts; denture cleansers, reading glasses....

...and bladder control liners. If I laughed any harder that night, I would have used them!

I have known a few people who turned 40 years old and didn't want to celebrate, instead they moped about getting older. I didn't want to mope on my birthday - every birthday age should be celebrated!

Lesson #3: "It's okay to be silly" I spent most of my life always trying to be something that I wasn't- always trying to please someone. And then I met RM who helped me learn to loosen up and have fun. And we certainly know how to have fun!

To celebrate my birthday, RM and I did something that we haven't done in a very long time - we went out dancing until two in the morning! I felt like I was twenty years old again until the next morning...

Our bodies were aching and sore from the dancing. I had a migraine because I'm not used to going to bed so late and RM had an upset stomach. We could tell that Moe was doing his very best not to smirk at us.

Biggest Lesson of all: Go to bed early- no matter how much fun you're having.

It's a different kind of Halloween

2010-10-31T13:43:00.000-07:00

I know I have not been the best blogger for a very long time, especially in the past month. It took almost a month to recover from an illness. Last week is the first time where I didn't spend any time in bed, unless it was to sleep for the night.

Though I spent most of the time trying to get better, many things have happened that I want to write about;

* Moe's Eagle Court of Honor that happened last month in September. Unfortunately it was right after his big day that I started to get sick.

* Our 19th wedding anniversary.

* Being sick for over 3 weeks - okay, I usually hate it when people describe their illnesses so I'll spare you the details. But during my 3 week sojourn in bed, I've read many books, watched a lot of crappy shows, and unfortunately gained a guilty pleasure- I've become a big fan of a reality show called "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills".

* And a milestone birthday- MINES!

Yes I have a lot to write about and catch everyone up. In the mean time, enjoy your Halloween and try not to eat too much candy.

My name is H.K. and I'm an American.

2010-10-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

We had a new family that just moved in to the neighborhood. I thought RM and I should take a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies to our new neighbors and introduce ourselves. We rang our neighbors doorbell and stood at their front entrance until the door was opened.

An attractive blonde woman who looked to be in her mid to late thirties answered the door. I hurried and introduced ourselves so she wouldn't think we were solicitors. I told her that we brought some homemade goodies to welcome her and her family to the neighborhood.

She looked pleasantly surprised and introduced herself as Jane and said, "Wow, that is so nice of you to welcome us! Our family moves a lot so it's very rare when neighbors give us a nice welcome."

RM replied, "Well we know how it's like to move a lot."

At that point, Jane called her husband over to the front door so we could meet him. She said, "Jim, come meet our new neighbors, they brought us some goodies to welcome us to the neighborhood."

As Jim shook our hands his wife said, "I'm sorry I forgot your names already. This time when you say your name, can you say it very slooowly. I have such a hard time pronouncing ethnic names."

I caught a slight smirk on RM's face and I said, "Okaaay." And then I gave them our very American/English names.

Jim and Jane looked surprised and Jim said, "Those are American names."

RM quipped, "We decided to change our names to American, rather than have people call me (RM pointed to himself) Uga Uga and (he pointed to me) her Buka Buka."

Jim and Jane didn't realize that RM was just being facetious. I decided not to enlighten them.

They told us how they know a lot of people from the South Pacific Islands and asked us if we were homesick for the tropical islands. We were too dumbfound to answer. I was amazed that they looked at the color of our skin and just assumed we were born outside the U.S.

And then the clincher - Jane took both of my hands and as she held them, she said, "I just love your accent. I think it's so great that you came to America and learned the English language."

Here's a quick background on me and RM: I was born and raised in the good 'ol USA and the farthest place I've traveled is Hawaii.

RM was born outside the U.S., but his first language is English. His family spent many vacations here in the States and then the U.S. became his permanent home in his early teens. He works at one of the top Fortune 500 companies and has absolutely NO accent, he sounds very American and is one of the most patriotic person I know.

After Jane made the ignorant remark, RM decided to have some fun with them. "Yes, it was hard to sit still as we learned the English language from our tutor. Especially since I'm used to swinging from tree to tree in the jungles and having my pet monkey swing alongside me." "And then after I got tired swinging in the trees, I'd ride on our family's elephant to the nearest watering hole, and then swim amongst the alligators and hippos."

Jim had this faraway look and said, "Man, I would have done anything to have a childhood like that.

I didn't know if I wanted to laugh at this man's stupidity or give RM a high five for his outrageous storytelling.

Jane said, "I'm being so rude having you both stand outside, you should come in and take a seat. I'll get some lemonade so we can sip them with this tropical homemade treat (they were chocolate chip cookies) that you brought ." She takes the plate that was covered in foil and brought them close to her nose and said, "I just love coconut treats, it smells like Hawaii."

I don't know about you, but Hawaii doesn't come to mind when I smell chocolate chip cookies. And I did not put coconut in the cookies.

"Actually we have to go, we're running late." I reply. "We're having dinner at my husband's Aunt's house."

Jim shook his head and said, "I am so jealous that you're going to a luau."

Hmm....I never mentioned that dinner was a luau, probably because... it wasn't!

As we said our goodbyes and walked out of their house, Jane was still waving at us and then yelled out, "We have to go out to dinner some time and introduce you to our other friends. My best friend is Oriental and she's married to a colored man- I just know you'll love them!"

It took every ounce of will power not to give her the middle finger.

*********
Note: I made up this story, we don't have neighbors that are this ignorant- at least none that I know of. Some of these conversations and ignorant questions actually took place over the years with various people and I combined them into this story.

However, RM did tell the story about growing up in the jungle after his coworker kept making ignorant assumptions about RM's upbringing...his coworker believed him.

One of the questions that we are often asked, is where RM and I are from.

My answer is always "Northern California" and RM's usual response is "Planet Earth".

We know that what people are really asking is what country we're from, never mind that we have no trace of a foreign accent, because the question is almost always followed with, "I mean, where are you originally from?"

Sometimes I correct people's false assumptions and tell them I was born in the U.S. and then there are times when I'm bored- and I tell them about the time I grew up in the jungle....

Another extended blog break

2010-10-07T13:12:00.000-07:00

Moe's Court of Honor ceremony and reception went great! Unfortunately I don't have the energy to write about it. I haven't been feeling well and doing a lot of resting and lying in bed. My doctor wants me to limit my physical activity which also includes being on the computer.

So I hope to be blogging soon and visiting all your blogs!

A blogging Break

2010-09-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

(Picture taken several months ago while Moe was working on his golfing merit badge)

Next week is Moe's Eagle Court of Honor ceremony and reception. It's been 7 years in the making (Moe's boy scout career) and I want to get every detail right to make that day very special.

The challenge is trying to fit all this planning while working full time!

So while I work and plan for Moe's COH, blogging has taken a back seat - for now. I'll be back in another week or two with stories and pictures of Moe's big day..and ours!

The latest greatest news...at least in my world!

2010-08-27T10:45:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile since I last blogged! So here's a recap:

- I haven't had much time blogging because I'm working full time! I work for a temp agency and I've been busy working on long term assignments. Now that Moe is back in school, it feels good to be working again and keeping busy.

- Moe started school last Monday at a Junior College just 30 minutes away from home. RM went to work late so he could give Moe a Father's Blessing. We continued our yearly tradition of going out to breakfast before Moe's first day of school.

- In addition to working full time, I've been busy preparing for Moe's Eagle Court of Honor. We decided to have a dinner reception afterwards- it's an excuse to throw a big party!

- I don't have to wait until the weekends to see RM! He's home Thursdays & Fridays - it makes a big difference!

- Though I work on Saturdays, RM and I are still able to go out Saturday mornings to our local cafe. It makes it easier going to work on Saturdays knowing that I still have my Saturday mornings with him.

- I took Moe to the Emergency Room last Tuesday for an asthma attack. He usually has an attack a couple of times during the year which is controlled with his breathing treatments. But this asthma attack left me scared when his breathing treatment wasn't working and he was still experiencing chest pains and dizziness. Thanks goodness the ER took him in right away. After giving him steroids for his lungs and an hour long breathing treatment, he felt a lot better.

Somehow I managed to make him laugh while he was on the nebulizer. I'm like a kid in a candy store when I'm in a room full of medical instruments. I can't help but touch everything and see how it works! It was like a scene from a comedy show- me fumbling with the instruments and Moe looking on with a horrified and anxious look that I would get caught. After I managed to put everything in order, Moe began to relax that I didn't break anything. When I finally sat down, we looked at each other and burst into laughter.

Moe said to me, "Mom, don't make me laugh anymore." "I have a mask over my face and I'm supposed to relax."

I had a very solemn look on my face and replied, "Okay I promise I won't touch anything."

Then we look at each other again and went into hysterics. The laughing continued for another several minutes.

It is definitely one visit to the ER that we'll never forget.

The first six months of 2010 were hard, but with Fall approaching- I can't help but think that there are more good things to come.

My piece of sunshine

2010-08-13T11:08:00.001-07:00

(flowers from my friend, Stephanie)

Two weeks ago was my baby's due date. On that day, I spent most of the day lying in bed in a vegetative state, watching TV- not caring what I was watching...until the doorbell rang.

The UPS delivery man left a large package on my door step and it was addressed to me. I opened the box and there were the most beautiful hydrangeas. Earlier in the day, there was an email from my close friend, Stephanie. She wanted to let me know that she was thinking of me and to expect a delivery from the UPS guy.

As soon as I took out the hydrangeas from out of the box, I transferred them into an empty flower pot that was in our front yard and filled the pot with soil. I placed the newly planted hydrangeas next to Moe's plants, the one that he gave me for Mother's Day.

(The plant that Moe gave me)

As I stood back and admired my flowers, I was reminded that though I was grieving for my little baby, I was fortunate to have a friend who knew that a gesture like flowers, would make my day.

It was the boost that I needed to change out of my pajamas (yes, I was out in the front yard in my pj's when I was planting- at 3pm in the afternoon) and finally took a shower.

I call the flowers on my front porch, "my piece of sunshine". The plants remind me that no matter how much I am having a bad day or going through a personal struggle - I can always count on my family and friends to get me through...

and that makes me smile.

Teenage wisdom?

2010-08-10T10:42:00.000-07:00

RM and I were telling Moe some funny baby stories about him which Moe found very humorous. It led to this interesting conversation:

Moe: "I heard that babies are born really smart and then they get dumber the older they get."

RM and I didn't respond right away, and instead we had this dumbfound look on our faces, especially since Moe looked really serious.

RM looked intently to Moe's eyes and replied very slowly, "And you're telling this to us because... this is some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy for you?" "Because if it is- it may explain a lot."

Moe shook his head in disbelief and said, "Wow Dad, I can't believe you just said that to me."

RM and I immediately burst out laughing and Moe just looked at us like - WE were the dumb ones.

(Thanks everyone for your supportive comments and emails from my last post. Feeling loads better and I'll be back to blogging on a regular basis and visiting your blogs soon!)

Today should have been special

2010-07-27T09:19:00.001-07:00

My baby's due date would have been today. There would have been a room that had a crib and full of toys. I would be nesting, getting prepared, and waiting anxiously for our baby to arrive. I probably would have complained about backaches and swollen feet. And while I look in the mirror at my non existent waist- RM would assure me that he's never seen a more beautiful pregnant woman... and I would have believed him.

None of that will happen today, instead I mourn for a baby that should be here.

It has been six months since I lost my baby. And when I think time has lessened my grief, July rolls around and I find myself getting sadder as my due date approaches. I did not think that today would be so hard, but it is.

I'm trying to think of something to celebrate about today and I can't think of any- not at the moment.

Tomorrow will be a better day, but today I grieve for a baby that should be here.

My Post-it Heart

2010-07-10T04:56:00.000-07:00

It is exactly 4:59 on a Saturday morning and I have yet to go to bed. I've been having trouble with insomnia off and on for the past few months. So what better way to take advantage of this sleeplessness than to blog!

I took this picture a couple weeks ago and thought I would write about it. RM and I were having breakfast and he talked about how much he misses our family when he's away at work (most weeks we see him only on weekends).

I grabbed a post-it note from the kitchen counter and as I was drawing a heart on it, I said, "I'm making you a heart, so you'll know that no matter how far you are from home- you'll always have a piece of our heart with you."

RM took the post-it and placed it near his heart- we can be really cheesy.

RM never did take his post-it heart with him to work. I found it yesterday on the floor in a corner of the living room collecting dust and looking tattered.

Oh well, it served its purpose. We had a good laugh and RM felt better.

RM, the pie, and the frog

2010-06-21T21:38:00.001-07:00

Last Saturday we were at our church picnic. None of us wanted to go, but since I'm on the activities committee and helped plan the picnic- my presence was required, so I dragged RM and Moe to go with me.

After four and half hours of barbecuing, assembling, coordinating picnic games, and cleaning- we were so ready to go home. It wasn't the way I wanted to celebrate Father's Day weekend, but at least there was one highlight of the picnic that I'm glad I didn't miss:

RM entered a pie eating contest.

We were short on contestants and RM was asked to enter the contest. I knew he was already full from eating, and cautioned him to eat slowly, and to pretend to be eating the pie. I told RM it wasn't important to win, and that if he ate the whole pie, he would seriously get sick.

He looked at me and said, "Oh, I'm not stupid." "I don't want to be sick, I'll just pretend to eat the pie, don't worry."

And then the contest began and RM's competitive side kicked into full gear.

RM used a small plastic spoon to eat his banana cream pie, and then when he noticed that one spoon wasn't quick enough- he proceeded to grab two other spoons, combined them together, and was able to scoop the banana cream filling into his mouth quicker.

I was horrified.

What happened to the sane, rational man that I talked to earlier?

After I saw that his "three spoon strategy" was helping him be ahead of the other contestants- I forgot my earlier reservations and cheered him on! I wanted him to beat those other guys!

It was a short contest and RM came first place! His prize consisted of a package of hamburger meat, hamburger buns, AND... a huge belly ache, a migraine, and an aversion to anything that smells or looks like bananas.

side note: picture above was taken by RM, that's his shadow. Somehow that bronzed frog reminds me of RM. The picture is adorable, silly, and goofy- just like RM.

Battling the Cravings

2010-06-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

I made a commitment to myself to post weekly of my fitness progress and Monday is the best time to do it. Last week, I exercised four times and it was a struggle each time. I had no energy. I was extremely tired and usually when I get myself into the gym and work out for a few minutes, I start to get more energy and work out harder.

That "energy kick" never happened. As I was riding on the bike, all could think of was how much I wanted to put my head down and sleep.

My cravings were also insane. Not only did I crave for something chocolate, I craved for something sweet and gooey. I ate apples, oranges, and pineapples and it didn't satisfy the craving! It usually works, but last week all I could think of was how good a fried bread would taste- oozing with jam and chocolate. I thought of it for 3 days and the cravings never left until I finally made fried bread.

It was delicious and it satisfied my craving. I melted dark chocolate and drizzled it onto the fried bread and also spread jam onto it. It was disgustingly sweet, but oh, did it taste good!

I told RM about my fatigue and cravings and then he reminded me that it was probably PMS. I checked the calendar and he was right! I'm still very tired, I've been taking long naps, and my cravings are somewhat under control. I can't wait for my period to start so my hormones can go back to normal!

I didn't exercise today, it's always hard on Mondays, but I plan to start early tomorrow morning. Despite the cravings and the fatigue, I am glad that I made myself go out and exercise last week. This week the goal is to exercise 5 x this week. I'll report next Monday on my fitness progress!

Food for Thought: “Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."

A Voice of his Own

2010-06-17T15:13:00.001-07:00

Moe and I went out to lunch today and I had a really good time with him. We talked about his friends and then we discussed politics and current events. When I asked him who he was going to vote for Governor of California, he replied, "I'm not sure yet. I have to really look at the pros and cons of each candidate."

When did we go from talking about what he did at recess, to discussing choosing the right governor to vote for?

I know he's eighteen years old, but sometimes it feels surreal that the child I gave birth to, has a voice of his own- on politics, religion, and everything else that is happening around the world.

Don't get me wrong, he's still a teenager that loves to play video games, hanging out with his friends and chatting online via FaceBook. But he truly cares what happens outside of his "teenage sphere".

Several months ago, there was discussion that there would be more cutbacks in our schools. Moe was so frustrated he said, "Don't they know when you cut education, you affect a kid's education?" "And then what happens to the future of America when all the kids get limited education?"

My intelligent response was, "I have no idea. I guess it would really suck big time."

He gave me this 'I can't believe you're my mother' look and proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the day, hoping RM would come home from work soon, to provide him with more stimulating conversation.

Since then I've been better at keeping up with current events for two reasons:

1. It's important to be informed.

2. Because Moe likes talking about it.

RM's new "skill"

2010-06-14T23:03:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, we were at a train museum and as we were looking at the different life size trains that have been built in the past century- RM saw a pole inside one of the trains and... used it as an opportunity to show off his pole dancing skills!

Thankfully the only people that were there to witness RM's "dancing", was myself, my brother-in-law and his wife.

Actually I was pretty impressed with RM's pole dancing and it gave me an idea-the next time RM becomes unemployed, he could be a pole dancer and I'll be his agent.

Just think of the money we could make!

A series of ephiphanies

2010-06-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

Last week I was able to visit with one of my closest friends Stephanie, who was visiting from Germany. I haven't seen her in over a year and I needed my Stephanie fix! We did what girls do best when they're together; talking, eating, & shopping!

One of the things that we discussed about was body image. And though I haven't been feeling good about myself physically, I realized how negative I felt about my body. I let my weight gain take control of my self-esteem.

As we were talking about body image, we went to a portrait studio so Stephanie could review some proofs. When I entered into the studio, I was amazed at the photos that were displayed- they were works of art.

There was one section of the studio where only photos of women who were over the age of forty were displayed. All of the women depicted in the photos were beautiful. I assumed they were models until the photographer told me they were just ordinary women that he asked to model for him. I asked him how did he make these women so beautiful and I was surprised by his response;

"I tell them when they can believe in the person that they can become, then they eventually become that person."

One woman had a bad skin problem, the other woman had a weight problem, but when they posed for the pictures, they forgot about their poor self image, and became the person that the photographer wanted to convey in his photos- women who were radiant and beautiful.

When Stephanie and I left the studio, we knew that it wasn't a coincidence that the photographer talked about the very subject we were discussing, just minutes before we entered his studio. I took the wise words from the photographer and started applying it. And shortly after wards, it was time to say goodbye to Stephanie. You know you have a good friend when they make you feel better about yourself, which has always been the case with her.

For the rest of the week, I avoided negative self talk. I concentrated on eating well and exercising because it made me feel good, until...

...I went clothes shopping. My wardrobe for the work force were basically non existent and the ones I did have- didn't fit. Enter my other close friend Linda- She came to visit me from the Bay Area and helped me find some clothes to wear.

We picked out several clothes that I thought I would fit into. I went to the fitting room and as I struggled to button one pair of pants and had a hard time pulling down one shirt- I looked into my image in the mirror and broke down crying. I didn't like what I saw.

As I sobbed, I looked at Linda and said, "How did I get to this place?"

She hugged me and replied, "You've had a rough year, don't be hard on yourself. Don't let your weight define who you are."

Her words hit me really hard, and at that moment I remembered the talk that I had with Stephanie, and the photographer, and I remembered how good I felt just prior to trying out those clothes.

Was I really going to let my dress size affect my attitude and the strides I made in feeling good about myself?

After I took a few deep breaths to calm myself, I asked Linda to give me the same outfits but a size larger as I stayed in the dressing room to change. She brought back some more outfits and though I slightly cringed at the dress size, they fit really well and it hid the curves I disliked and accentuated the curves that I did like.

In six months I have gained twenty pounds and have gone up two dress sizes. The numbers on the weight scale and the dress size on the tags don't lie. I try not to think about it too much or else it gets me down.

On a daily basis I try to make myself believe of the person that I can be; a fit size 10!

RM told me once that instead of concentrating on the numbers, exercise and eat right because it makes me feel good and the end results will be weight loss-Adopting that attitude has helped me to eat better, and to exercise, even when I don't feel like it.

I'm really grateful for my friends Stephanie and Linda whose honesty, support, and love, have helped me get through this hurdle.

Food for Thought: "A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are."

Moe: High School Graduate

2010-06-08T19:38:00.000-07:00

I am no longer a mother of a high school student. I'm the mom of a high school graduate! The ceremony was scheduled to be held at the high school football stadium, but because of the rain (unusual for our part of town), it was held in the gym and the multipurpose room. It was a full house!

There were a limited number of tickets allowed to each student so my nieces stayed at our house and decorated it for our small grad party afterwards.

I usually dread high school graduations. I rather go to the grad party than to sit through a string of boring speeches, but I found myself enjoying the speeches from the students and faculty. They kept it funny, inspiring, and most importantly...short!

When I asked Moe what was one of the things that he liked most about his graduation. He instantly said, "I'm glad that all three of my Grandmas could make it to my graduation- it made my grad day even more special."

Moe & Grandma H.

Moe and Grandma G from New Zealand

Moe and Nana

Moe: The Eagle Scout

2010-06-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

The Eagle Board of Review was held at a Metro Fire Station #32 in Fair Oaks. The panel consisted of 3 battalion chiefs.

We were all smiles when we knew that Moe is finally an Eagle Scout! My mother-in-law was there from New Zealand to witness this special occasion.

One the far right is one of Moe's Young Men leaders , Brad F. and scout leader from church. He's been a big help with Mitchell for Scouts and introduced him to the panel before he was interviewed.

I can finally say it: Moe is a Scouts Eagle! It has been a fourteen year journey to get to this point. Moe has worked really hard balancing school, sports, and scouts. It has not been an easy ride. One of the things that the Scout Council required was to submit three recommendation letters. It could be a teacher from school, church, someone from the community or a relative.

Moe chose one of his scout leaders and another leader from our church to write his letters and he asked me to write one too. I wanted to convey in my letter that Moe has many of the traits that a Scout is expected to have.

In the Scout handbook, it lists these traits for a Scout: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent.

After pondering on the traits of a Scout and comparing it to Mitchell and remembering the trials that Moe has gone through- I wrote this letter:

April 27, 2010

Dear Members of the Eagle Board of Review,

Several years ago, my husband was laid off from work. To ease the financial burden, Moe tried to find ways to earn money. He already had a busy schedule with early morning church seminary, school choir, scouts, football, and a full load of classes; finding a traditional job to fit into his schedule was difficult, but it did not deter him. Moe became creative and started selling his video games and collection of comic books. He collected aluminum cans and sold them at the recycling center. And when his schedule was free during the weekends, he worked at a catering service. It was during my husband’s unemployment, that Moe learned the value of hard work.

I’ve seen Moe persevere during adversity and he knows that with every trial there is always something to learn from it. He works at turning his weaknesses into strengths. It is his discipline, work ethic, love of country and God, his service to his fellowmen that leads me to recommend him for the rank of Eagle.

“Celebrate your success and stand strong when adversity hits, for when the storm clouds come in, the eagles soar…” this is a quote that applies to my son Moe. He has become a person of character and integrity- not because of his successes, but the way he deals with adversity.

Though Moe does not have the official status of Eagle rank, he’s already an Eagle that soars.

Best Regards,

H.K.

(proud mom)

Moe's Scout Essay

2010-06-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

Moe was required to write two essays when he submitted his Eagle application/binder to the Scout Council. The panel that interviewed Moe for his Eagle rank were impressed with the essay that he wrote and wanted to keep a copy of it to show to other Scouts! Here is one of them:

Requirement No. 6 (Statement)

The Scriptures teaches us that faith without works is dead. Most people have ambitions in life but lack that extra step to achieve those goals. At an early age my parents taught me to always pursue what I wanted in life no matter how difficult the task was.

From elementary school to high school I have been involved in many sports including baseball, boxing, martial arts, wrestling, and football. These various sports required a lot of time and dedication. One characteristic that was needed to become successful in these sports was that it required an individual to become a leader. My leadership roles in sports allowed me to use the same skills in my scouting and school career.

One of the many things I would like to achieve in life is to be a professional athlete. There are only a small percentage of people who actually reach the professional status. Knowing this statistic makes me want to push myself to reach my ultimate goal. Each year I strive to improve in every area possible by becoming physically strong, maintaining a healthy lifestyle and increasing my knowledge of the game.

With every award I receive whether being in school or football, helps me get a step closer to where I want to be in life. I have received many awards for my outstanding performance and attention to small detail. The following are awards and honors I have received.

Scouts:

1. World Conservation merit badge

2. Completed Eagle Project

Religious:

Duty to God (Religious Awards):

1. Completed Deacon Certificate

2. Completed Teacher Certificate

3. Process of Completing Priest Certificate

Honors (Religious Positions):

1. Deacon Certificate

2. Teacher Certificate

3. Priest certificate

Football:

1. Two time “Defensive Player of the Game”

2. “Second Team - "All Delta River League Defensive Tackle”

3. Game Captain – Folsom Bulldogs versus Monterey Trails Mustangs.

It was a big week!

2010-05-31T10:33:00.000-07:00

It was a big week for us last week! Moe had an interview with the Scouts Eagle Board of Review the night before his graduation and received his Eagle rank- this time it's official!

And Moe is a high school graduate...yippee! I'll be posting on both events a little later in the week.

Have a great Memorial Day!

I'm Forrest Gump!

2010-05-25T21:25:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite scenes in the movie "Forrest Gump" is when he decides to go for a run on a whim. His mother dies and the woman that he was in love with, leaves without telling him. What's a man to do? But run across the country for three and a half years!

I kind of relate to that. I had a job interview today that didn't go well, I sounded like a sixteen year old Valley Girl on speed-it was that bad! Moe's graduation, and family grad party is this week, and it's making me a wee bit batty.

And I have a relative that is staying with us until Moe's graduation-though she is extremely sweet...well, let's just say, she's been here only 3 days, yet it feels like a month! Also Moe's Scouts Eagle Board of Review is tomorrow night!

With all this stuff whirling around my head- it was time to do a "Forrest Gump"! I didn't run, but I went outside in the pouring rain and walked.

I didn't think about the miles I was walking.

I didn't care that I was getting soaked.

I didn't pay attention to the time.

After running across the country several times- Forrest Gump suddenly stopped running because he felt like it.

And after walking for over two hours and getting tired- it was time to stop walking. And the stress that I felt earlier?

The rain washed it all away.

Food for Thought: "I'm walking in the rain, just walking in the rain; What a wonderful feeling, I'm happy again."

Having lunch with my Ex Boyfriend

2010-05-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen my ex-boyfriend in a very long time. So, it was a surprise when he called me yesterday and asked me if I wanted to go out to lunch with him. He called at around 11am after I just came back from working out. I was excited to see him, and told him I would be ready in thirty minutes.

I quickly scanned my closet to find something nice to wear and then jumped into the shower. As I dressed, I frantically kept looking at the clock, making sure I was on time. And just as I finished putting on my lipstick-the doorbell rang.

I went down the stairs and as I opened the door, he had a sheepish smile and said, "I forgot the house keys."

"Yeah- I know, I gave your set of keys to Moe since he lost his."

RM came home early from work because he had an appointment with his doctor later during the day, which he did not tell me about. But he rushed to come home, so we could at least have lunch together.

His doctor ended up having to cancel their appointment, but I didn't mind- I was able to spend an entire day with him. It's been awhile since we spent some quality time together.

Isn't it nice to have a great relationship with your ex boyfriend- especially when you end up marrying him?

A different kind of centerpiece

2010-05-18T09:58:00.000-07:00

Does anyone ever tire of getting cards for their birthday? Though it's been a few weeks since Moe's birthday, the birthday cards continue to pour in. These days, family dinners are becoming rare, so I decided to place them as a "centerpiece" for our table.

The cards are so much more than just a "table centerpiece".
It is a representation of how much Moe is loved by his Grandma, his family, and his friends.

Exercise: I can't afford not to.

2010-05-16T22:52:00.000-07:00

My Friday morning started off great. I attended a morning temple session with a good friend and I felt awesome. Unfortunately the good feelings lasted for only a few hours- and my day progressively got worse.

I received a very hurtful email from a woman in my son's scout troop. She holds a key position in the troop and what made her email even more humiliating- she copied all the Scout leaders and the bishopric in our church! She basically accused RM and I as not being cooperative, difficult, and her overall tone in her email was condescending.

I was concerned what people would think of us. Her accusations were so off point and totally inaccurate. I wanted to lash out to her. I couldn't understand why someone could be so vindictive and mean. I wanted to email her back, but the only words that I could type out, were ones laced with anger, and a whole bunch of cuss words! I knew that if I sent the email to her, no matter how justified I felt- I would be the one to look like a jack ass. So instead of sending the email to her- I hit the delete button.

I decided not to respond at all. Instead, I called up my friend that I went to the temple with and...cried. I've been doing a lot of that lately! My friend assured me that everyone who received the email would not believe what she wrote, apparently the nasty scout lady (my nickname for her) has a reputation for being very difficult and she's not a well liked person.

And then RM called and told me he would be home late from work. The early evening that I had planned with him went down the drain- he wasn't going to be able to be home before 11pm.

I have been extremely fortunate that in the past 10 years, we've always been able to make time for each other every week. It's changed since he started his new job and it's been a difficult adjustment for both of us. I am EXTREMELY grateful that he has a job, but it would be so nice to be able to see him every day instead of just the weekends.

RM's phone call that he would be late, the email from the nasty scout lady, and basically everything that has happened in the past several weeks, left me feeling tense. I felt as if I was going to explode! I knew there was only one thing that could rid all my tension- exercise!

Though I was already in my PJ's, I changed into my work out clothes and went to the gym... at 10:15pm! I walked on the treadmill until I reached 3.5 miles and jogged 1 mile of it. (I did my own version of the 5K Stephanie!- goal accomplished!) I was very slow and it took me over an hour to accomplish it, but I did it!

I still wasn't ready to go home, so I continued on to the bike and pedaled for almost an hour. Afterwards, I relaxed in the steam room. By the time I got home it was almost 1am in the morning, I was exhausted. But I felt no tension!

I cannot control people's actions. I can't change RM's job. I can't control what happens to me.

But I can exercise! I can look after my health. I can eat better. And every time I exercise, I ALWAYS feel better! Each time I exercise, my head is clear, and I'm able to look at my problems with a more level head.

Exercising has become my antidote for stress.

Food for Thought: "In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive."
Lee Iacocca

My Mother's Day Surprise

2010-05-13T00:05:00.000-07:00

On Mother's Day, I wasn't expecting any gifts, cards, or flowers- I had absolutely no expectations. So when RM and I went downstairs for breakfast, I was surprised and pleased to see this on our kitchen counter:

I looked at RM and said, "When did you and Moe have time to get the card and flowers."

RM shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I have nothing to do with this. Moe got this for you by himself."

I still didn't believe that Moe got this on his own. "Are you sure you didn't suggest or tell him that he should get me something."

RM smiled and said, "Nope, he got this on his own and this is the first time I've seen this."

Over the years, I have received many gifts and cards by Moe, but he usually has gone with RM or my mother to get them. It meant more to me that he went to the store by himself to get my card and flowers- I was very touched.

I also loved the card! I read the card and felt that Moe designed the card himself. Here are parts of the card:

(bottom portion of the card)
This part is so true! When I ask Moe how his day went or what's going on with him, his usual response is a shrug and something mumbled.

(top portion of the card)
I laughed when I read this portion because I believe that it applies to at least 90 percent of the teenage boys population.

And when I opened the card, the brain changes to show these words: "I Love Mom!"
On the bottom of the card Moe wrote:

"Thanks for everything that you do.
I will always love you".
- Moe

It's a card that I will treasure always.

A new way of eating

2010-05-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

I recorded today's episode of Oprah because the topic was about women who lost weight and didn't diet- it sounded too good to be true. The show revolved around a book that Oprah claims is revolutionary to the way women diet and overeating. The title of the book is called : "Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything" by Geneen Roth.

One reader describes the book as "a way of living and relating to food, not about a food plan...this is definitely not a diet book or eating plan, but instead a way of experiencing life which allows you to be present and aware so that you are able to listen to your body and choose food based on nourishment and self-care".

I haven't read the book, but based on watching Oprah's episode, I'm a believer that losing weight is much more than just following a food plan and exercising- it's discovering the reason why we overeat and learning to love ourselves.

It's easy to say, "when I exercise and eat great, then I'll feel better about myself." The only problem with that is when a traumatic or stressful event occurs, or there's something that you can't deal with, then the dieting, and exercise goes out the window. It becomes an endless cycle of dieting, losing weight, and then gaining it all back again.

Here are 7 guidelines that the book lists towards changing the way we eat:

eat when you're hungry
eat sitting down in a calm environment
eat without distractions
eat what your body wants
eat until you are satisfied
eat with the intention of being in full view of others
eat with enjoyment, gusto, and pleasure

I started to apply some of those guidelines when I ate dinner a few hours ago. Most nights I eat dinner by myself. RM works out of town, and Moe is busy with after school activities and doesn't get home until after dinner. So instead of eating dinner in front of the TV, I ate at the table with music as the background. It was a calm environment, I ate what I wanted, and I enjoyed every bite I ate. I ate a reasonable portion because I wanted to feel good afterwards. And I ate more slowly because I wasn't watching TV while I ate. It was the first time that I ate by myself that I enjoyed my dinner!

Now if you have little kids, it may be hard to "eat in a calm environment" or "eat without distractions". However, I learned that the guidelines in the book is just a small portion of the success of the book, it's the mental and spiritual exercises that you apply that can help you.

I've had a long standing love/hate relationship with food. It's time that this cycle of dieting stops and that I learn to change the way I handle food as a coping mechanism.

Food for Thought: "Eat to live, not live to Eat"
Benjamin Franklin

It's a birthday celebration weekend!

2010-05-11T00:51:00.000-07:00

Last year on Moe's birthday, he was injured from football practice and he wasn't in the mood to celebrate at all. So this year, we wanted to make a memorable 18th birthday.

Since RM was going to be home late from work on Friday, Moe celebrated by going out with his friends with dinner and a movie. Of course, he had his birthday breakfast of french toast and scrambled eggs.

The next day we celebrated by going out to lunch with Moe, some of his friends and a few relatives. One of Moe's favorite restaurant is this Asian buffet restaurant and he LOVES Chinese food!

Moe's celebration over lapped into Mother's Day. Let's face it, I wouldn't be a mom if it wasn't for Moe. RM is carrying a cookies and ice cream pie which is one of Moe's favorite.

A hug of gratitude from Moe.
Our goal was to make Moe's birthday memorable- Mission Accomplished.

Eighteen years ago...

2010-05-07T01:00:00.000-07:00

I fell in love with a baby boy.

I never tired looking at his face.

He would jump into my arms and I would squeeze him really tight.

His smile would brighten my day and his laughter was always contagious.

He's become too old sit on my lap and much to big to jump into my arms.
I'm not the center of his universe anymore- he's growing up.
I'm proud of the young man he's become.
But in my heart he'll always be my little boy- no matter how old he gets.

Happy Birthday my "little boy"

An epiphany!

2010-05-07T00:55:00.000-07:00

I worked out two days in a row, yipee! I didn't want to go to the gym and instead I've been working out on a 30 minute work out video with Jillian Michaels- the Biggest Loser trainer. I love her workouts! She maximizes strength and cardio bursts in 30 minutes and after working out the first 10 minutes, I felt like throwing up!

You know you're working out hard when you feel like you have to puke! Her cardio workouts remind me of the way RM trains with me. Over a year ago, I was only 10 pounds away from my weight goal. I felt great and it was all from working out with RM.

RM isn't around during the week to work out with, I feel too self conscious working out like that without my work out partner- at least for the time being. So, my goal is to work out 6 days a week and take a nice stroll with RM on Sundays.

I had an epiphany while I was in the shower. I thought about how good I felt, I haven't felt like that in a long time, and then it hit me- "get obsessed with exercising". Whenever I have had problems that overwhelmed me and was out of control, I focused on exercising.

I've incorporated a lot more fruits and vegetables into my diet and it's made a big difference in the way I wake up- I'm not so exhausted, it also helps that I don't eat late at night.

The weekend will be a big challenge with Moe's birthday and Mother's Day on Sunday. Exercise, portion control, no late night munchies, and lots of water. If I can do that all weekend- I'll be okay.

Food for Thought: "Exercise: you don't have time not to"

(comments off)

The Eagle has landed...almost.

2010-05-05T20:55:00.000-07:00

If you think that completing the Eagle project is the easy part- you are completely wrong! For us, the hardest part of the project was Moe's Eagle Scout project binder that had to be turned in to the Scouts Board before he turned 18 years old.

The project binder contained:
- Eagle application with all the correct signatures by various Scout leaders.
- Project workbook detailing Moe's Eagle project which was installing the the drip irrigation system.
- Project before/after pictures
- Spec sheet
- 3 project essays
- Scout History from the time he joined Boy Scouts

I felt really sorry for Moe. He was overwhelmed with school work, going to the gym to work out before he starts football training in June, and then trying to find the time to work on his project binder.

My job was to help Moe stay on task and keep him motivated. RM's job was to to track down signatures from Scout masters at Moe's old scout troop. (the Scout Board are sticklers to having the correct signatures) And Moe's job was to complete the binder.

When Moe finally completed the binder last weekend, Moe's contact person on the Scout Board was on vacation until May 9th- a few days after Moe's 18th birthday! The panic lasted for only a few minutes when the contact person assured Moe that he arranged for another person on the Scout Board to receive his binder.

We were hoping to drop off the binder on Sunday when RM was home because Moe doesn't have his driver's license and I still get lost even with directions! That meant RM had to drive back home from work which took him over 2 hours to get here, and after a quick bite to eat- we drove to the contact person's home which is a small town that is 30 minutes away, but because the town isn't near any major highway, it can only be reached by a 2 lane country road- it took a longer time to get there, especially when you're driving at night.

Once the binder was dropped off- time stopped running. Moe's officially done with Scouts until he meets with the Scouts Board of Review.

We arrived home late last night. Tired and relieved that Moe made the Scouts deadline before his 18th birthday.

As RM and I settled into bed, he looked at me with tired eyes and said, "If we ever have another baby, I hope it's a girl."

"Why do you all of a sudden want to have a girl?" RM has always expressed that he only wanted to have boys, so his remark caught me by surprise.

"Cause I don't want to ever go through Scouts again." And then he turned on his back and fell asleep.

Back to square one

2010-05-05T19:53:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I haven't been taking care of is my health. With all the "surprises" that seem to keep coming, things like eating healthy and exercising has taken a back seat. I've had moments in which I exercise and do well, until the next surprise occurs and then I'm back to eating Bon Bons all day. And the only type of arm exercise I use, is when I'm shoveling food into my mouth.

I'm tired of grieving. I feel like I should hurry up and get it over with. Sometimes it feels I have gotten past my miscarriage; And then I hear a cry of a baby, I see a picture of my newborn nephew, or receive an invitation to another baby shower, and then I'm sobbing uncontrollably.

My mind often wanders back to the day that I was in the doctor's office. I should have heard my baby's heartbeat and instead there was only... silence.

I miss RM. I wish he didn't have to work so far. I love my alone time and I REALLY missed it when RM was unemployed. But now I wish I saw him more often. Seeing him only on weekends isn't enough time.

So, maybe there isn't a time limit to grief- that's probably what I need to accept. And it's hard not to see RM walk through the door every evening. But I'm going to hold on to that hope that he finds something closer to home. There's always hope.

In the mean time, feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help me shed the extra weight. I don't feel good. I don't fit into my pants and when I look in the mirror, I always look so ...sad.

It's time to go back to square one.

I'm recommitting myself to exercising and eating healthy. I can't control what happens outside of me. But I can control what I do to my health.

Yes, I am back to writing about my road to weight loss and being healthy! My goal is to write about it on a daily basis, but I'll be turning off the comments when the subject is about weight because the writing is just for me. And when I write about other stuff, the comments will be on!

I'm excited and scared of this new goal. I'm not sure if I'll fail or go back to eating Bons Bons all day when life has another surprise. I can't worry about that- for now I'll just take it one step at a time.

Food for Thought: “There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth...not going all the way, and not starting."
Buddha

(comments off)

Moe's Senior Ball 2010

2010-05-04T11:00:00.000-07:00

It was Moe's Senior Ball last Saturday. The last dance of the school year. The last school dance for him. The last school dance that we get involved with.

It was a bright and clear day, a perfect day for a Senior Ball.

RM tried taking pictures of Moe without his sunglasses, but he was squinting in ALL of them! When Moe smiles, you can't see his eyes- they look like they're closed.

Moe wanted 3 white roses with a gold ribbon for the corsage.

Moe and Courtney have been best friends since they were freshmen. They decided that during their senior year, they would just go with each other to all the dances.

Don't you love the bead work on Courtney's dress?

Moe's tuxedo is black with a gold tie and vest to match some of the gold on Courtney's dress.

Do any of these dresses resemble the dresses you wore to prom? These days, girls dresses are more sophisticated, slinkier, and they sure do use a lot less material!

There were 20 kids that were able to fit into this limo. I didn't think it was possible, until I saw each of them climb in- I kept expecting the driver to say that there wasn't enough room.

Here's the proof- 10 kids on each side of this limousine.

They're off to the Ball!

Why I changed

2010-04-22T17:33:00.000-07:00

I changed my blog because I like the look of this blog better. I love the white background against the text, the margin lines are wider than the old blog and it looks more cheerful.

This used to be my weight loss blog and I stopped writing in it several months ago because I didn't have time to write two blogs. So, rather than spending the time and money on a blog makeover on the old blog, I thought, "What the heck, I'll just start writing on my weight loss blog and save money."

So, don't get confused with the header on this blog-this will not be solely a weight loss blog. It's still H.K. everyday with a different header which I plan to change soon.

If you're still confused, don't fret - just sit back, relax, read, comment & one day it will all make sense. (I hope)

Be sure to read part 1 & part 2 of Moe's big projects below.

The work begins! (part 2)

2010-04-22T15:12:00.000-07:00

While most people were sleeping in on a cold, cloudy, Saturday morning- we got up at 5:30 am to work on Moe's Eagle project. I wanted to stay snuggled in my nice warm bed and the only thing that helped me get up was the knowledge that hot chocolate and doughnuts were going to be my breakfast.

We were expecting between 20 to 25 volunteers to show up. So we packed up Gatorade, water bottles, trail mix, chips, and a few dozen doughnuts to keep our volunteers fed, energized, and working.

RM, Moe, and myself arrived at the American River Water Education Center where the trees are planted and set up all the refreshments and registration table.

Moe wheels in the supplies needed to install the drip irrigation system.

Moe & RM goes over last minute plans before the volunteers arrive.

As the volunteers arrive, they register their names, grab a doughnut and ready to work.

We also had some family members who came to help.

Here are some of the trees that will shortly be connected to an irrigation system.

This is the irrigation system that was installed and connected to each tree.

Moe was in charge of this project and here he is giving instructions to one of the volunteers who is also a family friend.

The work also included pulling weeds, trimming shrubs, and cutting the grass. Imagine doing all that work on 3 acres in one day!

The original plan did not include working on this outdoor theater, but at the last minute Moe & RM decided that it was a beautiful structure that should be cleaned. Thankfully the other volunteers agreed and worked another few hours to clear out the weeds & trim the grass around the theater.

After everything was cleaned up & cleared-here's the finished product. (Moe taking a break with a friend)

This is my "hurry up and take the picture or I'm going to come over there and kill you" look.

Here are some of the awesome volunteers.

After five hours of raking, weeding, cutting, connecting drip irrigation system to over 100 trees- the work was completed! All of this would not have been possible if not for the volunteers who showed-all 25 of them! It was a team effort and I'm so proud of Moe for putting this all together!

The end is near (Part 1)

2010-04-22T14:10:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not on my deathbed and the world isn't ending- at least not yet. The end of Moe's Scouts 10 year scout career is almost at an end...and I can't wait! Since September, it's been a sprint to the finish line and if you want to achieve your Eagle rank, it has to be done before your 18 years old. Moe still had 9 merit badges to complete and an 18th birthday coming up soon-he had no time to waste!

I don't think anyone thought he would be able to finish, especially me. But he proved me and everyone else wrong. In six months he's completed the following merit badges:

- Camping
- Personal Management
- Personal Fitness
- American Business
- American Heritage
- Communications
- Music
- Photography
- Golfing
- And his Eagle project!

Moe's Eagle project involved installing a water drip irrigation system to about 150 newly planted trees that covered almost 4 acres of land. Many steps were taken before the installation took place; several meetings with city officials, drawing up landscape plans & securing volunteers and supplies.

Moe put together a safety meeting a week before the installation. It was a 45 minute presentation that could have been very boring, but Moe inserted his dry sense of humor that made it enjoyable for everyone.

Scout leaders and members of his scout troop attended the meeting, but what impressed me the most was how many of Moe's friends who are not in scouts or do not go to our church that attended the safety meeting.

Moe's friends were supportive and some of them even showed up when it was time to install the drip irrigation systems which happened on a Saturday morning at 8am!

(Be sure to Read part 2)

It's time to say Goodbye

2009-10-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately recent events that have happened in our family has led me to the decision that it's time to shut down this blog for the time being. I just don't have the energy or the time to keep up two blogs. Right now I need to handle this family situation and it's going to require a lot of time, focus, and energy.

However, I am not going to give up on losing weight, getting healthy and exercising. I refuse to let these recent events get in the way of me being healthy. I truly believe you can handle a family crisis and still focus on weight loss. There are 24 hours in a day and in that time...I can exercise for 20 to 30 mins, drink lots of water and watch portion control. It is a simple plan that I can stick to.

I'm going to stay focused on being healthy and losing weight because I believe it will give me more energy to handle this family situation. When you feel good about yourself physically, you have the mental stamina to handle whatever garbage is thrown at you. I'm going to do my best to find a healthier alternative to handle a crisis instead of drowning my sorrows in a bag of potato chips and chocolate chip cookies. I think taking a walk outside is a better stress reliever, don't you think?

I don't want these recent events to be an excuse for me to gain back the weight that I have lost. I'm only 20 lbs away from my weight goal and NOTHING will prevent me from losing that weight before the year is over. Next year when I write down my New Year's Resolution, losing weight is NOT going to be on that list because I WILL reach my goal.

I'm not sure when I'll be back to post updates. However, I'm not going to disappear from blog land completely, so you can still find me here. Since I still got some weight to lose, I'll still be visiting your blogs! Just because I won't be on this blog doesn't mean I don't need motivation. Your supportive comments on my blog have meant a lot to me and I have gained much inspiration from reading your blogs too.

I started this blog about 7 months ago and I've enjoyed every moment of it. Thank you all for taking time out of your busy lives to read and comment on my little blog...it has been a great ride! Before I go, I leave with you my last "Food for Thought". I hope this thought will help you along your journey to a healthier you!

Food for Thought: “To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping."
Chinese Proverb

Surviving the flu season

2009-10-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

I have been a real slacker posting in this blog & keeping up reading your blogs! I'm going to use this weekend to catch up on your blogs and get inspired. I have been sick with the flu and as a result lost 10 pounds. I'm sure most of it was just water weight, but my jeans are baggy on me! Having the flu isn't a great way to lose weight, but the great thing that came out of it is that I lost the taste for sweets & greasy food.

I have had to eat very small portions of food and chew slowly because when I eat too fast or eat too much, I start coughing really badly and end up throwing it up! What's so weird is that it happens during the evenings when I'm eating dinner. I NEVER feel hungry in the evenings for the past two weeks, but I make myself eat something and when I do, I end up losing my dinner. And no, I'm not pregnant.

I'm going to try eating a fruit or a few crackers for dinner instead of a meal even if I'm not hungry. As a result of not eating dinner, I wake up in the morning EXTREMELY hungry. It's the kind of hunger that wakes you up and makes your stomach hurt unless you put something in it. It's no wonder that I wake up hungry because the last meal I eat is at noon.

I want to feel 100% percent better and the lingering effects of the flu is tiring. It has thrown my sleeping pattern off, I sleep a lot during the day because I'm always tired and then I can't sleep at night. I really feel like I'm going to barf if I drink one more cup of herbal tea and my sense of smell has intensified. I don't like the smell of soap, any type of soap and I open up all the windows in the house because I can smell EVERYTHING. And I don't want to get into the smell of my husband and son. I have to hold my breath when I hug them, it's so sad.

There are moments when I feel energetic and I take advantage of those times. I cook, clean, or run errands and then I get a wave of nausea, and then I'm back to bed! I cannot wait to get better! We had some friends of ours visit us from the S.F. Bay Area last weekend and they took pictures and posted it on Facebook. I looked awful! I felt good physically, but I looked so pale & sickly! I like Facebook, but I hate it when people post pics of you that aren't flattering.

Anyway, I feel like each day I'm getting better and I hope to be posting, reading, & commenting on your blogs more regularly. Have a great weekend!

Food for thought: "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired."
sorry couldn't think of an inspiring quote!

My Favorite Smoothie

2009-09-24T15:19:00.001-07:00

I love having smoothies for breakfast especially right after a workout and here is my all time favorite recipe. This is Dr. Oz "Quick Magical Breakfast Blaster." I feel energetic, full, and I don't crave for sweets as much during the day. Here are the ingredients.

milk, frozen blueberries, frozen strawberries, banana, flax seed oil, psyllium husk

Pour 12-14 oz of nonfat milk into blender (banana optional) or you can substitute milk with ice cold water.

1 scoop of protein. I love the "EAS" brand because it has more grams of protein in one scoop and it's tastier. It comes in 3 different flavors, vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry. It comes in a big package in Sam's Club. Or you can use 1 scoop of "Nature's Plus Spiru-Tein" which is a soy protein.

1/2 tablespoon of Flax oil that's loaded with Omega-3 essential fatty acids - "critical nutrients that support healthy cardiovascular, circulatory and immune system function."

1 heaping teaspoon of Psyllium seed husks which you can purchase at Trader Joe's or any Health Nutrition store. Psyllium husks contain a lot of fiber and can be used to supplement the lack of fiber in low carb diets." Psyllium also helps to reduce appetite while it does not over stimulate the nervous system. Another benefit of psyllium husks includes overall intestinal health".

1 cup of frozen blueberries. Blueberries has the highest antioxidant capacity of all fruits. It boosts up your immune system and prevents infection. (You can also add a few frozen strawberries for more flavor, though blueberries alone is still tasty!)

My son the picky eater loves it, he says it's better than Jamba Juice! Be sure to add honey, it makes it a little more sweeter. Here's the recipe again: Enjoy!

The Quick Magical Breakfast Blaster
2 servings, 136 calories per serving

1 scoop of Protein Power or Soy protein (like Nature's Plus Spiru-Tein)
1/2 Tbsp. flaxseed oil
1 cup frozen blueberries
A few frozen strawberries (optional)
1/2 large ripe banana (optional)
1/2 Tbsp. apple juice concentrate or honey
1 heaping tsp. Psyillium seed husks
12-14 oz of skim milk or ice cold water

Peel banana; break into chunks. Put all ingredients in a blender. Add 12 ounces of water and ice or skim milk , as well as powdered vitamins. Cover, blend until fairly smooth.

Food for Thought: "I must have a drink of breakfast."
W.C. Fields
( I have a feeling when W.C. Fields said that quote, he wasn't talking about smoothies! )

A request from the past

2009-09-08T09:27:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen or talked to my father for over ten years. My parents were divorced when I was only two years old and I haven't seen much of him over the years. I always felt the relationship was one sided...my side. Each visit drained me emotionally because I knew that his kids with his current wife came first and I could tell that my visits were awkward for him. When I was fifteen years old, I couldn't live at home with my mother and her husband and asked to live with him. He said No. It really does a number on your psyche when both your parents choose their spouses over you. I went and lived in foster homes, but despite their rejection, I still wanted a relationship with them.

After a lot of soul searching, I realized that I needed to let my father go. If he wanted a relationship with me, he would pick up where I left off. He didn't and that was over ten years ago. It was hard letting go and the decision wasn't easy because though I hoped my father would call or visit me, I knew it would never happen.

And then I get a call from a sister. She told me that our father has kept track of my family. He knows where I live and what my family has been up to. He's kept up with news of my son's football and other sports. And that he wants a relationship. As my sister told me this over the phone, I was in shock. The news was unexpected and I hurriedly got off the phone and started sobbing.

I thought I would feel nothing. I've worked hard to feel numb and not care. I believed that I achieved that until that damn phone call! Why the hell does he want a relationship now? I have developed a thick skin when it comes to my parents and now my father wants be a part of my life?! Why doesn't he call me, instead of being a chicken sh*** and having my sister call????

I have gone through years of therapy to get over my parent's rejection and part of my binging that had me at over 200 lbs was because of them. I ate over their rejection and now that I feel like I have my life back in order...my father wants back in. His kids want a relationship too.

I can't go back there now. I have less than one year with my son before he goes to college and I want his last year at home to be uneventful. I cannot afford to risk having my heart broken again. It's taken a long time to get rid of old tapes and I want to move forward. One day I'll call my father and see if he still wants a relationship, but it's not going to be anytime soon.

Food for Thought: "Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad"
(I dedicate this quote to my father in law. He was my dad & I miss him.)

Now I really like going to the gym

2009-09-05T20:52:00.000-07:00

I have always loved working out. And yet, working out at the gym and getting to the gym are two different things. I can come up with a hundred excuses why I can't go to the gym. Ninety-nine of those excuses are lame, except for one. I hated my work out clothes. Here is what my work out wardrobe looked like:

The basketball shorts were comfortable except the shorts kept riding up in the front especially when I would be on the treadmill walking or running. I often had to stop because it felt uncomfortable and not to mention looks funny. And they made my butt look bigger!

The tank top was comfortable and felt cool, but I hated exposing my upper arms. The only time I felt self-conscious about my arms was when I was working out in the weight room and there are mirrors every where. All I could see were my upper arms which I didn't like looking at, but the mirrors are right there!

The velour pants were comfortable and flattering, but they're not meant to work out in! The pants become it's own heat furnace. It's too hot to work out in them and not practical. Velour pants tend be very long in the bottom so it's easy to trip over them, especially when your jogging uphill on the treadmill!

My husband finally got tired of me complaining about my work out clothes and suggested that I should go out and buy new ones. I hate spending money on clothes that I'm going to sweat in, but he insisted that it would probably improve my attitude towards going to the gym. So, where do you shop if you don't want to spend too much money? Walmart!

I bought 2 pairs of black Danskin tights for only $7 each! They met all my requirements for a perfect workout outfit: It was comfortable, it's black & interchangeable. I didn't have to constantly adjust it. It felt slimming and held EVERYTHING in and I also looked great in it!

I bought 3 pairs of t-shirts that were roomy, covered my upper arms, felt comfortable, and looked great with the black tights. I bought a grey, white, & black t-shirts, all the same design. And they were only $3 each! I would have bought more, but I didn't like the other colors.

A whole new work out wardrobe for less than $28! I know you probably shouldn't care about what you wear at the gym and I know I may sound vain. I mean when you come right down to it, who cares how you look at the gym? Unfortunately, I do! I have found that a simple thing like feeling good in what I wear to the gym has made a world of difference and I have gone to the gym almost every day this week. I actually look forward going to the gym because now I like how I look in my work out duds and that's a good thing.

Bottom line....whatever works to motivate yourself to work out and be healthy.

Food for Thought: "We are shaped and fashioned by what we love."

Still here, Still breathing

2009-09-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

It's been over 3 weeks since my son started school and I thought my schedule would become less hectic. Wrong! I haven't had much time to post or read any of your blogs. And unfortunately I haven't made the effort to track my food. I felt so good with my weight loss and losing the inches I got cocky and stopped tracking. And when you stop tracking, you start to lose awareness of what you eat.

Surprisingly, I haven't gained any weight. I believe it's because I've still been able to work out at the gym, though I have only been going 3 days a week. But, when I'm in the gym I make it count and work out for almost 2 hours each time. Basically, I've been working out to eat which isn't a good thing.

Today I'm starting fresh. I'm going back to my simple plan of living a healthier lifestyle.

1. Tracking my food intake
2. Drinking lots of water
3. Exercising daily - except Sundays
4. Not eating past 7pm - No more munching in front of the TV!
5. Portion Control

A simple plan that I know I can stay on. I have only 25 more pounds to go & I'm at goal weight! I know I can do it! I'm meeting with some old friends in two weeks and I want to feel good when I see them. Today is a new day to start fresh!

Food for Thought: "Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way".
Al Franken

2009-08-05T08:26:00.001-07:00

I try to post at least once or twice a week, but as I mentioned before it's been one helluva busy summer! Here is quick recap of what has happened for the month of July:

- I lost a total of 8 pounds on July 31st!
- I lost one inch on the hips, & waist (and my butt is looking smaller, yippee!)
- I haven't binged in over 2 weeks.
- And this week, I lost 2 lbs which is a total of 10lbs since July 1!

I have been losing weight very slowly and have averaged about 2 pounds a week which is perfect for me. In the past I would lose weight quickly and put back the pounds just as fast. Have I been perfect in my diet? Of course not! I think I have more imperfect days than I do "perfect" days.

One of my problems is that when I lose weight, I feel so good I want to celebrate...by eating! I've been learning how to celebrate without using food. The biggest lesson that I have learned this summer is realizing that I am NEVER going to be perfect in a diet. I will always have a slip up, but the key question is, 'will I let the slip up become a major down fall?'

And the answer is a loud and resounding "NO!" The success to being fit and healthy is to get right up, dust yourself off, and get back on the saddle no matter how many times you fall!

I miss by bloggy friends and I know that once my son starts school next week, I'll be able to post more and visit your blogs. Have a great week!

Food for Thought: “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."
Anna Quindlen