Still here...barely - Day 16

I survived the PMS blues, but I'm still on my period and have gone through one of the worst menstrual cramps. I take Tylenol and all it does is take the edge off. It was so bad the other night, I didn't go to bed until very late because it seemed the cramps got worse when I was lying down.

Sorry for being so graphic, but my menstrual flow tends to be so heavy that I get too self-conscious going to the gym, I'm afraid some unexpected spots may appear on my work out clothes! Besides, I tend to get really bad headaches and I'm extremely tired when I'm on my period.

So, it's a Thursday and I have yet to work out. However, I have not overate on anything! My food choices aren't great, but I'm still aware of portion control. Okay, I messed up Monday night! I have to admit, I ate two small cheeseburgers, I was CRAVING it! But, as one bloggy friend pointed out it's NOT the END of the world. And that statement helped me get through the week, rather than beating myself for it.

At the same time, I need to be honest. If I go through another week like this, I will not be losing weight and that's the goal. So, my goal today is to get more sleep, I'm still getting headaches, continue to portion control, journal what I eat, drink more water and go to the gym with my husband tonight.



Food for Thought: "Aspirations can cure headaches." Robert Half

Surviving PMS Blues - Day 13

The PMS blues hit me really hard during the weekend (which is why I haven't blogged in the past few days!) & I survived it and also the unfortunate souls who came into contact with me! I didn't bite any one's head off, even though I felt like it. I didn't alienate my husband or son, they still like me. And I caved into the cravings for only one day without going overboard!

I know I would have not been able to get through it without the help of every one who gave me such helpful tips and encouragement on my last post. Thank you for that! I'm not beating myself up for caving into the cravings. I tried eating lower calorie treats and this time it did not satisfy the taste buds. I just got crankier!

As soon as I put that chocolate treat in my mouth, the nerves were soothed, the muscles were relaxed, the twitches stopped, I was able to smile, and my husband called his attorney to stop the divorce proceedings. All was well.

Other than that, I have gone almost 13 days without overeating, recording my food intake & exercising consistently! I need to stop eating a snack before I go to bed. Even though the snacks is low cal, I know that if I don't stop that, the low cal snacks will one day turn into a high fat, high cal snack! So, starting today no snacking 3 hours before I go to bed!



Food for Thought: "You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity."

Still on Track - Day 9

I'm still on track! I made a promise to myself that for for the first 30 days I was going to break out of my funky eating habits and start exercising regularly. And I have stuck with it! I eat what I feel like eating, but eat in moderation. I don't deprive myself of anything. I still have my desserts every day, but they're low cal desserts.

I average 3-4 days of exercising a week. However, I want to increase it to 5-6 days a week. I wish I could I say that the past 9 days have been easy. It hasn't. I have had a few days where I just felt like throwing in the towel and just binge on cookies and ice cream. And then I remember what my husband told me; "Just do it, even if you don't feel like it." I don't have to like going to the gym. I don't have to like that I can't have that second helping of food. And every time I do that, I ALWAYS end up feeling good.

After I go to the gym, I never say, "I wish I didn't exercise." After I drink lots of water after just one serving of food and feel full, I never say, "I wish I could have eaten more." Doing the right thing, at least for now, is ALWAYS followed by a feeling of accomplishment.

Sundays were my weakest days, and since I survived last Sunday, I know I can do it again. Now, the Real TEST, my period is due next week and usually I eat as if my stomach was the bottomless pit. I know what I can do to combat the bloated feeling. In the past, I just made sure that I increased my cardio and went into the steam room. That usually worked.

How am I going to combat the cravings? All will power is out the window and my husband knows to stay out of my way. He knows not to stand in the way between me and my chocolate!

So, my bloggy friends, What do you do to combat those PMS cravings? Do you give in or try to have healthier alternatives?

Food for Thought: Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

Surviving Sundays - Day 5

I realize I don't usually have a problem with sticking with my diets on Friday or Saturday. Yes, I tend to think Friday is a license to celebrate because its the end of the week. But, because I'm usually feeling really good on Friday and Saturday and tend to be happy because my family is home, I can usually stay on track.

My bad days are Sundays. We usually go to church on Sunday mornings, but I always come home very tired and extremely hungry, so I grab whatever is available and I tend to forget to drink water. I end up feeling lethargic, take very long naps, and then end up staying up and eating late into the night.

When I have a bad Sunday, it trickles into Monday and then it's not until Wednesday that I go back on track. And then the crazy cycle starts again. I was happy that I did fairly well on staying on track last Friday and Saturday. But, the real test would be Sunday.

Yesterday, I made sure I had breakfast before going to church. My husband and I teach Sunday school for the 4-5 year old classes and always bring them light snacks, which are usually crackers or animal cookies as a snack. I would eat the same snacks. This time I came prepared and brought a banana, bottled watter, and raw almonds.

When I came home I wasn't extremely hungry! I was able to warm up lunch and steam some veggies and I didn't over eat. The real test would be Sunday night, which is usually the time I get sad because my husband and son would be back to their schedule and I would be home. It has only been recently that I have discovered why I can't go to bed early on Sundays.

I did stay up late on Sunday, but I didn't do any late night munchies! I kept thinking that if I did that I would ruin the momentum. I worked hard to to exercise and eat healthy consistently. I didn't want to ruin the streak and I was able to survive Sunday night! I wasn't able to exercise this morning because I only had 4 hours of sleep and needed to sleep in, but I will be working out this evening with my husband.

It is the first time in a very LONG time that I woke up on a Monday morning feeling good.



Food for Thought: "The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do." ~James Barrie

My 30 Day Plan

They say that it takes 28 to 30 days to break a habit. Well, I've decided that in order for me to break out of the funk that I'm in, is to take some steps that will get me towards losing weight. One of the things that I need to do is to write on this blog daily for the next 30 days. It will be my online diary of sorts.

Today is day 2. I felt gross with myself yesterday morning, but I still ate really well. It felt so good to read all the wonderful and motivating comments that I got yesterday that I was able to bow out of my pity party. I took to heart the comments that I read. Stop beating myself, learn from the mistakes and move on. Eat in moderation. Exercise even when you don't feel like it.

And I also learned some really cool lessons from watching Biggest Loser on tv last night. One of the contestants was consoling his brother who was still obese. This 18 year old kid had some words of wisdom to impart to him. He said, "You're not stuck. You don't have to be this weight." The light bulb went on, the heavens parted and the angels started singing! I finally got it...I AM NOT STUCK. What a concept!

Instead of having 3 big meals yesterday, I had several small meals through out the day. My biggest downfall is eating late into the night. I didn't do that last night. It felt so good to go to bed not feeling stuffed. I could tell it made a difference this morning because I woke up feeling energized and Hungry! Oprah Winfrey's trainer Bob Greene, said that if you wake up in the morning not feeling hungry it's probably because you ate late into the night and ate too much. He said that it's good to wake up hungry.

One of the biggest things that I'm learning is to start off my day right. If I don't do that first important step, then the rest of my day won't be great. I have to go straight to the gym as soon as I drop off my son at school in the mornings. If I come back home, I always get distracted and end up never going to the gym. So, exercising in the morning is a key element for me.

Thanks again everyone for your support!

Food for Thought: “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. ~Jim Rohn

My Worst Enemy...Me

I am my own worst enemy. I'm angry at myself for not losing weight fast enough. I get angry that I haven't been exercising consistently. And there is no reason for me to get angry. I should get angry at myself. I put myself in that situation. I thought I would have lost a lot of weight by now, and I haven't.

Today my weight loss group cancelled meeting today. I breathed a big sigh of relief. Today is weigh in day and I was so scared to see what my weight would be. This past weekend, I have been on a sugar craze. Darn those stupid Easter candy! There's no more Easter candy because I ate them all and all I can think of is how much I want to eat more candy.

I don't know why I get so angry when I am my biggest obstacle towards weight loss. It's so stupid this endless cycle. I get on the bandwagon of exercising diligently, eating right, and record all my food intake and then BAM! A major crisis occurs in our household and I am back to not exercising and not eating right. Then it's a battle to get me back to the gym and eating right.

I need to prepare myself that life will always throw me a curve ball. There is always going to be some drama that will happen. I just need to go back to the basics and just work on today. It's a recurring theme for me, working on doing well today. I'm going to stop beating myself for past mistakes and just do well today.



Food for Thought: “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
~Paul Boese

A Hard Lesson

Two of my aunts died from complications of health problems that related to obesity. I have another aunt who was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes along with her husband and 3 of her daughters. One of my aunt's last meal before she died was eating deep fried lamb chops with all the fat attached to it. They said she ate a lot and then keeled over.

Almost all of my first cousins are overweight. I'm sure more that half of them have Type 2 diabetes. My step father had his heart valve replaced. The doctors were nervous that he wouldn't survive the surgery because he was so overweight. He survived, lost a lot of weight and then gained it all back and then some. I keep waiting to get the phone call about him. My mother is a pre-diabetic. She's overweight too.

A year ago at my aunt's funeral, I looked at all the family members from across the country that came to attend. My sister and I were the smallest in size. She's a size 16 and I'm a 14.

My grandmother was obese. She battled all sorts of health complications that I know came from her weight. When my mother couldn't take her to the doctor, I took her and had to translate what the doctor said. She told me to tell the doctor that losing weight wasn't going to solve her health problems. Grandma was old school, she believed that the bigger you were, the healthier you became. I wish she listened to her doctor.

I don't want to die young. I don't want to live my life on a dialysis machine or take various medications for heart, blood pressure, and cholesterol problems. I want to stop the cycle of an unhealthy lifestyle with me. I want my husband and my son to be fit and be healthy. I don't want to end up like my aunts or my grandmother. I want to be healthy. I want to live.


Food for Thought: "No matter who you are, no matter what you do, you absolutely, positively do have the power to change."
~Bill Phillips~

A Makeover from the Inside Out

I had my husband take several pictures of me (more on that in a later post). I was looking at the pictures wondering which one I should submit and I was surprised at how great I looked. I looked happy! My hair was fixed. I had make up on. I was wearing clothes that emphasized curves I liked, and de-emphasized curves I don't like. After I saw the pictures I thought, "Dang, I look alright for a size 14 gal!"

Do I want to lose more weight? Of course! My goal is to lose 26 lbs. But, in the meantime I need to appreciate how I look right now. I know that I will be able to lose the pounds, it will take some time and DISCIPLINE, but I will get there. Yet, I don't' want to wait until I've lost all my weight to be happy.

My goal right NOW is to focus on all the things about me that I love. I want to focus on my strengths rather than my weaknesses. I'm a lot more fit than when I was a size 18. I can jog and run, when not too long ago it was hard for me to walk a few blocks! And I need to stop wearing my son's sweats (the one's he grew out of) and start dressing up in the mornings.

No more looking like a bag lady! My husband can always tell what kind of day I've had based on the way I dress...that's kind of sad! So, no matter how I feel in the mornings, I will dress up and put some make up on. No baggy, saggy, torn sweats for me! (I'll just wear them in the evenings, they're so dang comfortable!)

And when I go out with my skinny girlfriends and they want a group picture taken, I'll be posing front and center. My days of hiding in the background are gone!


Food for Thought: "What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner." ~Colette

My Food Journal is SAVING me!

I've been consistently food journaling for the past several days & I love it! I record EVERYTHING I eat on my food journal...the good, the bad, and the nasty! On the first day of food journaling I was eating what I felt like eating. But, then I had to record it! I cringed when I had to write this;

Breakfast
1 packet of oatmeal
1/2 c nf milk
6 pieces of Easter Candy

Morning Snack
lite yogurt
6 pieces of Easter Candy

Lunch
1 chicken breast
1 serving of salad
Easter Candy, lots of it

I hated that I wrote Easter Candy in all my meals! I threw away the candy and I was very conscious of what I was putting in my mouth. When I would write down what I ate, I would also write how I felt before and after I ate. (I'm also an emotional eater, so it's important for me to record how I feel.) I was cleaning out my purse & there were two pieces of Hershey Kisses! I was going to pop it right into my mouth, until I realized that I would have to record it! The Hershey Kisses went straight into the GARBAGE!

My food journal is keeping me honest. It's keeping me accountable for what I eat. I haven't been doing any mindless eating. And I think twice before I put anything in my mouth. That doesn't mean I don't eat it, but at least I think about it first!

Food for thought: "Accountability breeds response-ability." Stephen R. Covey

A Plan I can Work with

I am ready to FINALLY work with an eating plan that I can work with. I am making a more REALISTIC goal. I have finally admitted I am not "SPEEDY GONSALEZ" when it comes to weight loss. I am more like a TURTLE, a very SLOOOOOW TURTLE. One pound a week aint' bad!

I am not a calorie counter. It's not me, it becomes too much work to count everything. I realized that when I lost my first 20lbs, it wasn't from counting calories. When I was in Weight Watchers, I was on the Core Eating Plan, which basically was just learning about portion control, eating lots of veggies, lean meats, whole grains, and cutting down on sugar and white flour. And I did this on my own, I still wrote down what I ate and how I felt before and after the meal. It was important for me to learn to eat until I was satisfied and not full.

Here's my plan for now:

- drink 6-8 glasses of water

- journal everything I eat and how much (not count calories)

- weigh myself every week, no matter how I feel. Be accountable!

- Portion Control

- Make sure to have a veggie or fruit in every meal.

- When I am craving for sweets, I will have a "healthier" alternative.

- Exercise 6 days a week. If I can't work out for an hour, do some type of movement. Whether it's a 15 minute workout or a walk around the block. The key is to KEEP MOVING.

- Make each Day Count!

I feel really good about this plan. It's something I can live with. It's not overwhelming and it's realistic for where I'm at right now.


Food for Thought: To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.